I’m watching the self-serving bias arise within myself, but, with the expanding energies, it isn’t unseen any longer.
It’s moved from what Werner Erhard would have called “the background of obviousness” to the foreground of discomfort.
I’m noticeing that I find it almost impossible to escape from considering things overwhelmingly from my own vantage point, from the perspective of what benefits and advances me and my interests.
I see myself as the center of the universe and judge everything from the standpoint of how it impacts me.
And it’s inconceivably difficult to interrupt this thought pattern or tendency because it seems self-evident.
But recently I’ve been finding it necessary. There are things I cannot have and, when I cannot have them, I respond from a self-serving standpoint. Hey, it’s right and reasonable that I have them. What others want does not matter. It’s all about me!
My mind chatters on: Things need to work out for me. If it isn’t working out for me, God is not on his throne and something needs to be done about it.
But guess what? Things don’t always work out for me.
I don’t see that another’s right to have things work out a different way is just as important and represents the universe working out as well. I may say I do, but right down at the itsy-bitsy center of my being, I really don’t. And that’s how deep this point of view seems to go while remaining largely unquestioned.
This self-serving tendency is the source of most drama and anchors in place the worst of the Third-Dimensional paradigm of service to self. Somehow I have to break free of it.
I’m having more trouble than the proponents of the Earth-centered universe had in accepting that the Sun was actually the center of the solar system. I am the center of this universe! I feel abashed even questioning such a given. It causes an uproar in my insides to even look at it.
Moreover, there’s a paradox in unravelling it. It isn’t enough that there be a shift from service to self to service to others. There’s more involved.
It isn’t just a shift from “I” to “other.” It’s more a shift from “I” to “we.”
I’m just getting a glimpse of the fact that this shift prepares us for unitive consciousness. And that’s the whole point of it, I think.
I imagine that, once this paradigm is broken, a tremendous amount of energy and bliss will be released. This is definitely an “Aha!” whose time has come but the action of really, deeply getting it still eludes me.