We’re often encouraged to learn from history so as not to repeat it. We can also learn from history simply to grow from its lessons, never mind avoiding repeating them; to capitalize not only on the lessons of what worked but on the lessons of what didn’t work.
The recent failure of 21/12/12 to eventuate in the way that many sources said, and many lightworkers believed, it would is valuable to us in one respect and that’s to see how vasanas are formed and dissipated.
I’m going to look at this event here, not to wound or create animosity, but to find a healthy way of holding it within our consciousness that dissolves the drama and trauma while leaving the fewest traces, impacts, and after-effects.
It’s risky to engage in this exercise and I have to rely on the good estimation of those who know me and know that I don’t aim at stoking resentment but at clearing it, even if the exercises I sometimes engage in look a little risky on the surface.
Previously the subject of vasanas may have been academic for us but, since everyone reading this has now passed through the experience of watching 21/12/12 pass without seeing nearly as much occur as we thought might occur, perhaps we now have the makings of a textbook case in how vasanas are formed. Surely all of us can appreciate this latest field study we’ve all been through.
Many people were not here on Oct. 14, 2008 when the decloaking of a mothership failed to occur as promised. So that instance doesn’t provide the same utility. Some were here for the Neptune, but not all.
The magical date of 21/12/12 came and went with nothing resembling an Ascension happening for the vast majority of people who had staked a lot on its eventuation. People were left embarrassed in front of friends and families in much the same way they were on Oct. 14, 2008 with the aborted decloaking and in early February 2012 with the postponed Neptune expedition.
I won’t name the names of lightworkers who predicted Ascension on 21/12/12 and were trusted by many because I don’t want to embarrass people, more than they may be already. But they were people who had garnered significant respect for their discrimination.
It’s surely one occasion on which I can almost certainly name myself without being considered vain. I staked all on that date. I believed our sources. And I, along with all the others, am now faced with dealing with what failed to happen.
And many of you followed me and the others and staked all you were or had on rousing people to open to that date. Now all of us are dealing with the aftermath.
Carl Calleman, who encouraged people to open to the alleged end of the Mayan Calendar on Oct. 28, 2011 hasn’t been heard of since. That may turn out to be the fate of some lightworkers in this case as well.
Human beings, as far as I know, don’t like a number of situations. I’m not suggesting that these things happened on 21/12/12. I’m discussing the subject more generally now, to approach how vasanas are formed.
People don’t like feeling conned, defrauded, or rejected. They don’t even much like failure. Admittedly, there are those who capitalize on failures such as bankruptcy or estate sales, etc. But no one wants to be a failure themselves or to have a failure happen to them.
So 21/12/12 offers us a classic case in seeing how vasanas are formed. And, as you know, I use almost anything that happens as grist for the mill. I believe that doing so speeds healing and wards off psychological shutdown, among its other benefits. So let’s look at this event in some detail.
We were told that we’d be hit with a tsunami of love on that date. Galactics, who had earlier said that they can turn on a dime to make changes to the Plan, now said that they would not have arrived around our planet in the millions if they couldn’t handle what was needed for Ascension on the 21/12/12. We were told that they’d assisted in other Ascensions, etc.
We were told that there was no provision for delay and postponement in the Mother’s Plan. We were asked to let go of “what if’s.” And many other comparable things were said which instilled in me, at least – I can’t speak for others – the confidence that we’d ascend on 21/12/12 and nothing could stop it.
As a result, many lightworkers saw the date as ironclad, the promises imbued with certainty. Credibility for everyone concerned was staked on 21/12/12 in a manner in which it hadn’t been on previous occasions. In fact 21/12/12 was seen as the event that would redeem all previous failures and disappointments. But, instead of that, people once again found themselves in serious disappointment.
We’ve only to look within ourselves to see how we’ve reacted to this event to learn how vasanas are formed. Let’s review some possible scenarios.
Some people, I’d assume, feel themselves wounded beyond repair by the failure of Ascension to occur, no matter how our sources address the matter, no matter what they explain, justify, or deny. This group’s story of what occurred or did not on 21/12/12 will form the heart of their vasana.
Those who leave in disgust will have to justify their action to themselves and others. Their vasana will contain the scripts they’ll use to justify it.
Some of us remain but are doubled over in pain and don’t enjoy the experience. Our scripts will contain the conversations we’re having with ourselves and others as we cope with our pain.
Some will tamp the memories down or suck them up. Others will complain and demand answers. Still others will sink into despondency and be difficult to arouse. All of this forms part of our vasana.
Many, myself included, will continue to support the Company of Heaven but with reservations that are designed to ward off our being disappointed again.
Whatever way we handle our thoughts and feelings about the event will go into the formation of the vasana or reaction pattern.
Just as Ascension itself was said to be a highly individualized experience, so the vasanas we form are highly individualized. Nothing can be said about how one person vs. another will experience trauma or react to it.
That leaves us unable to generalize about the vasanas that were formed in response to 21/12/12 any more than we could have predicted Ascension experiences.
But we can say that all the conclusions people reach about everything connected with that event – conclusions about Ascension, the reliability of the word of an archangel, a galactic, or an ascended master, the desirability of participating in a largescale movement, however the situation is seen in people’s minds – will form part of the reaction pattern we’ve called a vasana.
The decisions we reach are also part of it. “I’ll never trust a galactic or an archangel again.” “I’ll never believe [a lightworker] again.” “I’ll never be convinced to take part in a spiritual mass movement again.” Etc.
So to summarize: How we felt at the time, what words we said to ourselves, the reactions of others, the trials we went through at the hands of others, the conclusions and decisions we reached – all of these memories will form part of our vasana.
Understanding this event and how we reacted to it can enable us to use it to cement our knowledge of how vasanas are formed and dissipated.
The Healing Approach
Turning then to sourcing or dissipating the vasana, perhaps we can see and appreciate now that the way to cause the trauma to dissipate without having lasting effect or impact on us is simply to allow ourselves to experience the thoughts and feelings through to completion without reaching conclusions about them or making decisions. (1) Surely that now makes sense to us, hopefully in a way that it may not have before.
The way to create the vasana is to resist experiencing the experience and then justify ourselves. The way to dissipate the vasana is to experience the experience and let go of justifications.
We need to be willing to consciously allow our experiences to pass through us while we notice them, without making a bookmark and writing a manual on how we’ll handle them or their aftereffects in the future. If we approach matters this way, we’ll avoid reaching the state of “never again” which is the seedbed of vasanas.
Now let’s look at the costs of allowing a vasana to form and go untreated.
If we don’t source our vasana, then we do the equivalent of allowing plaque to form in our arteries. We begin to close off the circle of our arteries of experience with plaque deposits of pain and disappointment. And we become a little more sclerotic with each fresh unexperienced experience of trauma.
If we don’t source our vasanas, then we end up in a rocking chair, spouting our closed opinions of things and nattering away, bereft of friends who’ve heard our stories a gazillion times before and can’t stand us any longer.
We watch our marriages break down because our predictable reaction to things dysfunctionally involves our partners in our misery and limits them more than they’ll agree to abide by.
The cost is children who won’t come to see a parent because they’re tired of hearing the same old worn-out estimations of things and cautionary messages. No signs of intelligent life there.
So if anything of lasting value is to come out of recent events, if we are to find something in them that allows us to feel that we’ve actually learned and benefitted from them, surely it can be to see how vasanas are formed and dissipated.
Earlier, Similar Incidents
I’ve actually been through several of these disappointments before. Perhaps the first was seeing that a parent whom I turned to for love could be a source of attack. That event preconditioned me in this area.
A second would be a charismatic figure who ran a camp for wards of the state that I worked for who was using their precarious position to demand sex from them.
A third would be the “Hilarion” of the 1980s who said a “rapture” was coming on Apr. 4, 1984 (4-4-4). It never came.
And twenty-five years with an Indian guru only to find out that he too was a sexual predator provides a fourth. A fifth a western guru who extorted his students. Finally Oct. 14, 2008 and the Neptune provide others. The disappointments have been many.
But I’ve been fortunate to have had teachers (who themselves went through trauma) who’ve described the cost of closing down to life by failing to understand how vasanas form and work.
Thanks to the est Training and enlightenment intensives, I’ve learned how to source (get to the bottom of) a vasana. I’ve been able to keep the arteries open, perhaps a little better than many. This way I can hang in with disappointments while learning from them and still proceeding.
But still it requires a great deal of work to get through an incident like this without closing down.
These events can furnish us with a classic case of trauma in the face of which we shut down our full-blown experience of life. Or they can furnish us with an instance of how we open up to our trauma, losses, failures and defeats and refuse to let them be the occasion on which we shut down to life.
What we do is up to us. And nowhere is that more true than how we relate to our disappointments in life. I intend to source this vasana and to emerge as little defeated by disappointment as I can.
It’s not what we wanted, but it allows us at least to benefit from what seems to carry little benefit, to prosper from our losses, as it were. I used to laugh at the vasana-born platitude: “Whatever doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” But in a bittersweet way, that platitude just may ironically apply here.
(1) A large literature on how to source a vasana can be found here: http://goldenageofgaia.com/ascension/on-processing-vasanas/. My hope is that we now can really begin to understand how vasanas are formed and dissipated.