11/11/11 was up-and-down for me. I had the experience of increased expansion, substantiality, and well-being for part of the day. I had the experience of forlornness, dismay, and depression for another part.
I went to Occupy Vancouver for 11:11 on 11/11/11, was handed a microphone, gave a short talk, and marked 11:11.
Following that I joined my 2012 friends downtown for coffee. Most of my friends had the same experience of nothing particularly happening. I cannot say that I experienced a tidal wave of love or anything resembling it. I would have been greatly disappointed if I was not so busy dealing with the extremely-upsetting negativity I myself felt, which eventually lifted when I got to the bottom of it.
I have to tell you that I face a dilemma. On the one hand, my detractors may have a field day with my saying that I did not feel anything special. But I need to be honest. On the other hand, I’ll feel as if I’ve lowered myself if I act like a promoter or cheerleader. That’s not what I’m here for. So I can only forge ahead expressing the truth as I see it and let the chips fall where they may.
Perhaps let me complete my description of the episode around the negative feelings. I’d been feeling empty previous to 11/11/11 and that emptiness increased by an order of magnitude on that day. I forgot that the Boss and I had had a conversation about it on the 10th of Nov. I returned home, because by then I needed to be by myself, I felt so poorly. When I did, I read again my conversation with the Boss to see if I’d missed something that could explain what was happening.
I’d said to AA Michael on Nov. 10, in the private part of my reading that I was feeling empty and that for the first time in years I felt I had little to write about. Here is that exchange.
S: I actually feel for the first time in years a little empty as if, oh my, I haven’t anything more to say. I do need your assistance to energize me and get me going again because that has worried me a little in the last few days.
AAM: There are times to be empty. You know this.
AAM: And there is a time to be refilled. And soon you will be saying, dear Michael, can you please stop. I am overflowing.
S: Tell me it isn’t so. I would love to be overflowing.
AAM: Then get ready, dear heart.
S: Ha ha ha ha! I’m more than ready. I’m excited.
AAM: Be happy in the emptiness because it is letting go and now you refill.
I now realized what was happening. I had been resisting feeling empty. So I stopped resisting. The minute I did so, I felt wonderful.
So for me my misery was self-inflicted. It seems to have been magnified by whatever the energies of the day may have been. I resisted a feeling I judged as negative and produced the much worse feelings that had me spiral into deeper misery.
OK, that was all cleared up. But, be that as it may, I was still expecting miracles and did not find them. I am at a loss as to how to explain the matter. I personally can recover from it with little difficulty. I don’t have a huge issue around disappointment (I have others). But I imagine that there are many out there who may not be able to recover as easily. I wish I had some words of comfort for you.
But I sense that anything I say might be interpreted as me somehow wanting to excuse the invisibles, or cover up that nothing spectacular seemed to happen, or that much build-up occurred and the results are not obvious or discernible from ground level. So I’d rather let the matter be while we’re feeling … however we feel about the matter.
One or two people on discussion groups are saying that channeled information is no good, NESARA is a figment of your imagination, Disclosure will never happen, see I told you so, etc. I know that NESARA is not a figment because I’m aware of background movements going on. I sincerely doubt that Disclosure is a figment because we see the evidence on Youtube.
While I cannot explain why we don’t have much tangible evidence of something marvellous having happened on 11/11/11, and while my and the galactics’ detractors may have a field day with it, I intend to carry on even if it means bearing the burden of looking like a fool or having bet on the wrong team. I don’t think I am betting on the wrong team, but I would have felt a whole lot better if all the evidence for that had been forthcoming, the date having been discussed by our sources from so many months back.
So I have precious little comfort to offer you, I’m afraid, and precious little comfort to offer me. I’m staying out of the dramatic because I still believe in the scenario itself. The evidence I see in the background does substantiate for me that we’re moving forward toward wonderful things. But it doesn’t feel like the time for me to be saying that because, above all, I want to avoid looking as if I’m somehow excusing events – or the lack of them.
That’s all I can say for now from my vantage point. I await word on what may actually have happened on this day. I’m sweeping the floor, rearranging the chairs and getting back to work again. I acknowledge your disappointment, those of you for whom little happened. I congratulate those for whom a lot happened. I’m a bit sobered, a tad disappointed, but still certain of eventual success.