I’m still staring, unable to apply myself. It’s a meditative space.
I knew a long time ago that choosing to be a writer meant going through spaces publicly, but I didn’t know how publicly.
There isn’t anything I can do but just be with this space. It may pass. It may not. But it’s what we all signed up for whether it passes or not.
I simply have no desire to work in any specific way, follow any specific direction. I’m detached from almost anything I can think of.
Things that were a problem for me a few hours ago are no longer a problem. The only problem would be if I forced myself to continue in the same way and the same direction that I’ve followed up till now.
There seems nothing left to do.
Thank heavens for SaLuSa. In his May 31 message, he explains:
“When the stirring starts to occur within, you will wonder what is happening in your life, as you will know that something is missing. It is likely to be an unsettling time, until you realize that the answers are also within. You will find that you are awakening to the urge to find your true self. You will know that you are more than just your physical body, and feel your spiritual awakening opening your eyes and heart.”
Yes, this is surely true. There is a stirring within. I am wondering what is happening in my life. Something is definitely missing. It’s more of what I’m just beginning to feel right now – more love, more ecstacy.
It is very unsettling. I sense that the answers lie within and feel drawn to meditate. Or at least to stop being active and just sit still. Yes, there is an awakening urge to find the true Self. And I do know that I am more than just my physical body.
“Sooner or later your path will open up, and the way will be lit with the truth.”
It couldn’t come too soon, so unsettling is it to be in this transitional zone, neither belonging to the old nor anchored in the new.
“As you rise up so your consciousness will expand. So many Beings accompany you on your journey, and they will do everything in their power to help you and urge you ever onwards.”
OK. Come and get me. I’m the guy who’s just staring into space. Over here.
“You will surely know if you are one such soul, you are well on the way to the completion of your experiences in duality. It will be clear to you that you have learnt your lessons, and are ready to move on. There may be some tidying up to do on the way home, but a smooth pathway will carry you to Ascension.”
I have to rely on those words. I’m slipping farther and farther away from being the organized, smoothly-functioning fellow I was just a day ago. I stand in a dark doorway and can’t see what’s inside. And I can’t hide from it either. I do feel that there are no more outstanding lessons. Lessons, yes, always, but not outstanding.
There is a very famous speaker here in town and I don’t feel the slightest desire to go hear him. There seems nothing more to be gained, nothing more to be added. What happens next seems not a gainful, additive process. Apart from whatever this is all about, I’m at a standstill.
SaLuSa and Saul said things would be happening very soon and they certainly seem to be.