by Matt Kahn
https://mattkahn.org/
As an energetically-sensitive empath, I spent the majority of my childhood confusing my personal feelings with the experiences of others. It was common for me to believe I wasn’t liked or “good enough”, since the emotional discord I sensed in others was interpreted as their opinion of me.
This led me to always trying to cheer people up, hoping to improve their opinion of me. While spending many years in “vibrational co-dependency”, it became common to identify with the patterns of fear woven throughout the collective, as if I had fears of my own.
Whether it was the fear of rejection, the fear of not measuring up, the fear of abandonment, the fear of my own personal power, I spent many years getting to know fear as a daunting teacher of higher learning. Even though I’ve been divinely guided by my intuitive connection to the Universe, I was never spared of learning all that I came to know for the benefit of every heart I am here to serve.
My intuition didn’t spare me a moment of fear. It merely pointed my attention toward evidence and possibilities that became the insights that evolved my consciousness. I didn’t overcome fear through a bold declaration. Instead, I spent so much of my upbringing in fear that it eventually had no power over me. I was simply too curious of each “what if” to ever remain frozen in victimhood. I began to see that fearing an outcome didn’t determine whether or not it occurred.
99% of everything I’ve ever feared never came true. Even the things I feared that did occur – never usually happened in as scary or painful of a way as I was convinced would play out. Even when something scary I thought would happen actually came to be, life moved me forward in a direction that was somehow better than however things were before.
No matter how entrenched I was in believing how anything was bound to occur, my thoughts and commitment to believing in worst case scenarios never brought any of it to life.
I began to see how each outcome was bound to occur in a way that was governed by a higher force of reality. Since that force was alive, conscious, and intelligent, I honored it with value, which allowed me to see from a very early age that everything happens to create greater value in our journeys of growth.
I didn’t always like what happened, but I was never without a deeper knowing that it’s happening for my benefit, whether or not I knew what each benefit was.
Over the years, fears would orbit my field on a more infrequent basis. It began feeling like reuniting with a precocious long-lost friend, instead of the source of my pain. Each time it came around, I knew it would leave me stronger and more rooted in clarity than before, whether I bought into each fearful possibility or watched it pass.
As I evolved, I learned how to sense other people’s experiences without making it into ideas about me. This prepared me to hone my intuitive skills in service to humanity through the offering of my heart-centered teachings.
While I credit my curiosity to moving me out of the grip of fear by playing out each horrific vision until it all dissolved into light, I equally honor fear for cultivating my deepest humility and respect for the gift of life, no matter how characters act or whatever comes to be.
May we join together as a community of heart-centered consciousness to honor fear as a daunting and relentless catalyst of evolution that activates our greatest strengths and infinite depths of courage, simply by enduring and surviving life’s most intimidating uncertainties.
Rather than viewing fear as the opposite of love, may we aim our love to all the parts in ourselves steeping in fear, as a way of reclaiming our personal power and developing the worthiness to shine our light brightly. As always, the parts in ourselves that receive more loving attention help to unravel the unconscious programs throughout the collective for the wellbeing and liberation of all.
Dearest fear, I spent most of my childhood in your presence and I believed each and every frightening possibility you expressed until I saw the perfection of destiny that our personal will can claim, but cannot alter or deny. Thank you for helping my love to become as unconditional as possible, as I dared to support and embrace the one who either waited for bad things to happen or good things to go. Thank you for introducing me to my deepest vulnerabilities, as my core strength instead of my deepest weakness.
Thank you for showing me that no matter what happens, life always expands in better ways and everything always works out, whether anyone believes it or not. I have no interest in pushing you away, but I sense that your mission is to return to the love you feel separate from, which is why you are always rooted in worrisome perspectives.
As life’s eternal liberator that you have helped me realize that I AM, I free you from the plight of your own victimhood and offer you permission to return home to the light of your highest truth. Thank you for every gift you’ve ever offered me. I set you free.
Perhaps this moment reminds us how the mastery of fully embodied awakened consciousness has nothing to do with how often we fear, but how instinctively we respond with love to whatever arises. It’s never a matter of loving the situations you are in or the conduct of any character, but embracing the vulnerabilities, worries, pain, doubts, and conflicts that each moment inspires in you.
Whatever arises, love that part of you who has a right to feel and think exactly as you do.
Whatever arises, love that. You are that. That is what you are.
Matt Kahn