Someone asked me why I had suddenly started a new topic – the constructed self. Not new. I’ve been discussing it since forever. Just using different words.
I’ve been discussing it since the day I started the discussion group Galactic Roundtable in January 2009. From the first, I urged people to share in that group, to reveal themselves, to emerge from their shells and stand forth as the Self. Perhaps I can share a post from the first week of that group:
“That having been said, the single biggest way you can serve us is to emerge.
“What does that mean? What is ’emergence’? …
“I don’t speak of enlightenment when I’m hammering away at the keyboard. I speak of ’emergence.’ I emerge. I stand forth. I rip this mask off and tell you who I am in the matter: I am here (and I think my colleagues are too) to create a space for you to emerge. That’s who I am in the matter. What matter? The matter of this group.
“How do you emerge? You drop the mask, drop the drama, drop the complaints and the victimization, and stand forth as who you are. Plain vanilla you. The gift without the wrapping.
“Take off the party hat. Stop trying to sell us an image.
“Tell us who you are.” (1)
Why would I keep discussing the same theme for four years running?
There really is a reason.
Whether we talk about emergence, standing forth as the Self, or exiting our constructed self, the same matter is at issue.
We’ve all heard by now how the masters, angels, and galactics are gesturing to us to come thither. We see that they’re reminding us what a talented and committed group of lightworkers are here – here from all dimensions and locales of space.
They’re handling the part of the task of emergence that has to do with the physical body. This body is like a wet blanket on our awareness.
It’s a contrarium to consciousness, a barrier, a non-conductor. It inhibits seeing. It flattens sensitivity. It does not let emotion through. Not much, not really.
Some people will hear that as me saying the body is bad and wrong. No, I’m not saying that. It simply inhibits the flow of consciousness compared to the spirit that inhabits the body.
But the part of it that falls to us, in my estimation, is to emerge from our fears, our reticence, our hiding, our indirectness, all the ways of being which we’ve developed to get through the unpleasantness in our lives that can now interfere with our missions as lightworkers.
If we weren’t ground crew, I wouldn’t be saying this. I’d be saying “Sit back, folks, relax, and enjoy the ride.” But because we’re ground crew, because we’re lightworkers, because we came here and said that we’d be willing to do the heavy lifting, the situation becomes a little different. And this is where the reason I talk about this comes in.
If we as lightworkers are to do what’s expected of us in the times ahead, if we’re to work on a global stage or handle large projects, if we’re to stand up to rape and gang violence and all the really difficult issues in the world, then it becomes a positively fruitful thing – no, a necessary thing – to stand forth as the Self, in the language I used four years ago, or emerge from the constructed self, in the language I’ve used more recently.
I realize that many people may not have the slightest clue what I’m talking about and that can be a bit daunting. Others may be invested in the constructed self and not want to hear this. We’ll all be at various places with it.
But I continue to believe, drawing on everything I’ve learned from all those expensive courses I took so many years ago, that breaking free from all that holds us back is what is wanted and needed.
I’m not saying that many techniques cannot clear the brush, cover a lot of ground, etc. But given that the ego does not loosen its grip willingly, there comes a moment, I think, when a choice presents itself: the person is either going to come out of their shell, out of their act, out of themselves as a construction of thought, or they are not.
It’s this moment of standing forth, stepping out, and making the break with all that’s artificial, prearranged and conditioned that I’m referring to and that I work for.
I don’t know how many times I’ve watched that moment of breakthrough in people, where they suddenly shift from being fearful to being a lion, where they realize what a deep hole they’ve dug for themselves and now just want to come out.
Anyone who’s ever been in an encounter group, the est training or an enlightenment intensive will know what I’m talking about. It’s a sacred moment. Often born amid much kicking and screaming but sacred nonetheless. Once a person is out, they don’t want to go back in.
In that moment, we’ll either step out of the confines of all the norms and rules and fears and secrets that hold us back – or forever hold our peace. And at that moment, to watch a person take a stand that they’re finished with their conditioning, finished with their holding back out of fear, finished with all that restricts and confines them which is not born out of choice is as inspiring as any event is.
At that moment, it’s as if a person takes a step outside a time capsule or a consciousness bubble and becomes free of it all. And that’s what I’m pointing at and encouraging all of us to do. It doesn’t have to be born amid kicking and screaming but sometimes it is.
I want to be totally honest with you. I yearn for, I long for, I miss from the bottom of my heart partners in this work who’ve stepped outside their artificial ways of being, who meet life head-on day after day, who refuse to be indirect and suppressed, who not only yearn to breathe free but insist on it.
Never mind the Divine Mother calling her children to her. Where are our partners?
I may be dreaming to think that everyone can stand forth as who they are, but it’s the square I put my money on. It’s the only game worth playing for me. And, while I get that I haven’t a role to play in encouraging this interpersonally (I’m not schooled as a group leader, etc.), nothing brings me more joy and aliveness than inviting everyone to join me in this through my writing.
(1) http://groups.yahoo.com/group/galactic-roundtable/message/289, Jan. 14, 2009.