I was editing an article I wrote and read the sentence: “My enlightenment will come as a realization, probably, that I am love, bliss, and peace.” (1)
And I got it. That is exactly how my enlightenment would come. I read on and then screeched to a halt. Have I walked past an invitation in and not taken it up?
I returned to the previous sentence. Yes, my enlightenment would come as a realization that I am love, peace, and bliss, I said to myself, and sank down into meditation.
This is obviously a door in for me, I thought.
I kept sinking deeper and deeper into the realization of being love, peace, and bliss. It seemed to have no end.
It was not a truncated experience this time. It was real. I could feel it.
It became clear to me that one thing I was doing was shedding things. This was the experience of things falling away from me, calving icebergs.
Then I saw that I was revealing myself, unconcealing myself. The only adversary I had right now was my tendency to distract myself. I’m not going to do that today.
This puzzle piece has found the hole into which it fits. There is an attraction to and resonance with opening to the deeper and deeper realization that I am love, peace, and bliss. At some deep level, there’s no resistance. At some superficial level, there is.
I hear myself worrying that I’ll be rejected if I present myself as I am – as love, peace, and bliss. Being that way is in itself seen as making a claim for oneself. It invites attack from skeptics, wounded and unhappy people, etc.
Better I should hide under this mask of being a hard worker with his nose to the grindstone. Me happy? No, I’m not happy. I’m productive.
But the call of the deep sweeps aside superficial fears.
This is the Challenger Deep. It just goes down and down and down forever. I want to travel this path. This part of it involves meditation.
I understand that I am love, peace, and bliss.
I accept that I am love, peace, and bliss.
I experience that I am love, peace, and bliss.
I realize that I am love, peace, and bliss.
(1) “The Spectrum of Realized Knowledge,” March 15, 2017, at http://goldenageofgaia.com/?p=286782