That was only one set of vasanas that went off over the holidays, what with the rising energies, solar eclipses, etc.
I’m a monk and an introvert by inclination. But I’ve also made agreements that will pull me more toward the extrovert side of the spectrum.
Those agreements will mean, at a future date, a lot of meetings, conference calls, lunches and dinners, etc. As an introvert, I don’t excel at these. I wouldn’t seek them out voluntarily.
How am I’m going to do this and remain calm, loving, and sane?
I look and look at what isn’t working, what there is to do, what I can do.
At last I look at the way I’m holding things. Something about my context or paradigm (introvert vs. extrovert) may not be working.
Notice what I’m doing. Cognitive dissonance has arisen in the sense that as an introvert I’m feeling a lack of space for introspection and my future holds more extroversion and even less introversion. I therefore feel anxiety rising.
What do I do? I begin to look for another way to contextualize my situation that will work better. A different way of framing it. A different way of describing it.
In this never-ending stairstep of paradigms, what other distinction can I make that works better than this one and entices my mind to change?
“Servant and served. I am the servant.”
Interesting. Let me try it on, test it out.
Yes! That fits.
I’ve always considered myself Archangel Michael’s servant. I am the Mother’s servant.
I now begin a different phase of that service with the Reval.
I’m kicking the tires, looking under the hood, considering.
Yes, that paradigm works for me. Thank you. I’ll take it.
In whatever occurs, the gate I start at, the ground I stand on, and the destination I aim for is service.
It’s confronting to say this publicly but then, if I weren’t saying it publicly, I probably wouldn’t be doing it. Nothing would be holding me to the mark.
There has to be something at stake to make a person move and, when you write ethnographically and publicly as I do, you have a lot at stake.
A servant cannot afford the luxury of a negative thought. In most situations, a servant will profit from being happy rather than being right. A servant knows to take care of himself first if he’s to be of service to others and to allow himself some downtime and playtime. A servant….
The dissonance is gone. While the shoe fits, I have a new paradigm.