My focus has shifted from primary attention on core issues to primary attention on their residue, our conditioning. I could have said our habit patterns, our programming, our socialization – we know our conditioned or programmed responses by many names.
Once our core issues no longer explode and determine our responses to life, we still face the need to examine and complete these more subtle layers of the constructed self that we’re deconstructing.
I’ve been watching my conditioning serve as the template for my behavior. For instance, I’ve been watching my territoriality go off. I’ve been watching me cycle through my stock responses in relationship conversations.
I traveled on the ferry yesterday and listened to people trade stock responses, hip things to say, Pokemon stories, etc. I felt like running away.
The best I could do to contribute to my own aliveness was to stop speaking from my own conditioned responses. Just stop. Don’t add to the dense goo of meaningless chatter.
As long as we had core issues going off, our conditioning had something to anchor too and something to continually replenish it energetically. Fresh explosions, fresh grooves in the record, deeper grooves, more grooves.
But now, with the combination of the cleansing of issues we’ve been doing and the always-rising Ascension energies, it seems enough not to voice the stock responses that come up from my treasury of conditioned responses to see them wither away and disappear.
While the core issues required processing, conditioning unattached to a core issues doesn’t seem to need it. Just not going with it and instead “being with” it seems to be enough to watch it lift off into space.
People on the ferry seemed quieter overall. I saw instances of people leaving things unattended, unlocked, etc. People’s expressions looked more open and happier.
I feel very peaceful at this moment; neither loving nor blissful, just neutral and settled. This feeling is new to me.
The pace of life is uniformly challenging, but I seem to be feeling more stable and calm. It defies logic.
I surrender to the peacefulness.
This peace is durable. I just had a burst of love wanting to take over the show, and peace metaphorically said no and persisted.