The play of consciousness continues to be the most important thing for me. In the face of it, all thoughts connected to the external world fade into insignificance.
While I was interviewing the Arcturians, the mood of conscious awareness began to rise in me.
By the time I joined my coffee partner, I was beginning to enter the transformed space again.
What I noticed predominantly was the feeling, not of love, not of bliss, but of being consciously aware. I have a base level of awareness that’s not conscious, but this was conscious. It was if the totality of me was a conscious space extending outwards a few feet in all directions, with a point in the middle that I recognized as somehow “me.”
In unconscious awareness, I was very much limited by the body and equated the body with “me.” I was an imprisoned consciousness and I was unaware, because of the body’s density, of much that was happening around me, outside of it. My consciousness did not extend past the limits of the body. What and how the body was doing was intensely interesting to me.
In conscious awareness, I was very much aware past the limits of the body. In fact I wasn’t much aware of what and how the body was doing and I paid it little attention. It just didn’t attract my interest.
It was as if I had wraparound awareness. We would ordinarily say that I had “expanded.”
It took a lot to remain open, in conscious awareness. Conversation about Aunt Betty or Harold the salesman did not interest me at all and, if I allowed myself to remain with it too long, the space of conscious awareness began to seep out of me.
While conscious, I felt certainty and confidence, though there was absolutely no reason to feel these ways. I “came from” these spaces rather than “reaching” them. They were my point of origin rather than my destination. That’s the reverse of how we usually look upon those qualities in ordinary consciousness.
While conscious as well, I felt exhilarated, buoyant, capable, free. I remembered what Archangel Michael and the Arcturians had said that we have to value this space and want to remain with it for it to stay. If we didn’t want to remain with it, or just didn’t value it, it disappeared.
I wasn’t impacted by what I did (as long as it was dharmic). But I was impacted by what I thought and felt about what I did. My mood was governed by my thoughts and feelings.
Again that’s probably exactly why the Arcturians said we had to master every thought. Our thoughts have the power to pull us out of the conscious space. In fact it may be in the end that only our thoughts (and thought-generated feelings) can pull us out of it.
I feel joyous. I feel alive. I have boundless energy. I remembered being warned that we’d feel this way and yet we still need to rest.
When I think of giving myself rest, I feel bliss. The bliss comes from feeling caring for myself. I used to fester with self-hatred, as so many of us did. But now all that is gone, replaced by a feeling as solicitous to myself as it would be to anyone else standing in front of me.
Self-love has replaced self-hatred and that love of self becomes available to give to everyone else I meet.
One of our 3D paradigms is that we get love from other people when predominantly we get it from ourselves, from our own hearts. I’d appear before someone else with my begging cup in hand and a sign worn round my neck: “Love me.”
Then I discovered, after the heart opening on March 13, 2015, that it was I who had to love me. That task fell uniquely to myself. And if I didn’t love myself, I had no love to give to anyone else. The love pump, once running, does not discriminate. Excess love is always available and free (almost) to anyone else for the asking.
I’m now nestled into the bliss, like a pile of down feathers in a nest. I don’t care if I lie down and don’t sleep – as happens many nights. Every waking minute in this space is splendid.