Andrea: I’d like to share here a response on the GoldenGaia discussion group from Devapriya. She’s been one of our moderators for a couple of years and is now one of our editors. Her personal shares usually clarify our discussions.
In this case, she’s sharing her view after reading the series, Eradicating Gender Predudices by Steve Beckow. (1) This is what she had to share.
We all have gender prejudices. Often it doesn’t become clear, but simply the act of relating with someone from the other polarity brings a sexual component into the dance.
If the intent is to become sexual with each other, that’s fine, yet mostly that isn’t really the case. But we’re so used to reacting to the attraction and repulsion of the polarities that we unconsciously play out sexual games all the time.
Therefore, it’s so very relaxing to have a same-gender group meeting , the energy usually bound in the mating dance gets freed for more truthful Being-ness.
One difficulty I’ve repeatedly, and just recently, been experiencing in relating with men, is how easily ‘being love’ gets mistaken for ‘falling in love’.
When I Am what I Am, with open heart, present, attentive, loving, my energy shines like a lighthouse. It often triggers people’s heart and opens it for love.
A Being of the same polarity, a heterosexual woman or a truly gay man, will usually responds to this energy by taking a sip of ‘my water’, sharing One-ness in Many-ness once in a while, and using this nourishment to find their own light.
A Being in the other polarity’s vessel easily falls into the sex-virus state of, ‘ahh, a lighthouse… the light shines for me only… I need to have it…’, and starts hunting down the light that I Am instead of chasing their own I Am light inside. It’s easy to think, ‘she’s so loving. She must be in love with ME ‘.
Get the idea? In essence, We Are Love. When we vibrate in this state of consciousness, we are loving with our surroundings, no matter who comes. Those who resonate with our energy share it, and our springs sparkle their waters even more, merging with the spring water of the other Self.
But we’re lost when we follow the light on the outside. Be it a guide, a guru or a romantic partner, no outside source can be the spring to quench my thirst of One-ness. Not for long, that is.
Another Self can only give me a taste, a sip; or can be a well for me for some time, reminding me of my own light, which transforms my waters into love consciousness; and triggers the spring in mySelf to nourish me from the inside.
When we ‘fall in love’, we want to feed off the other spring, the other lighthouse. We easily get lost in each other. When we ‘rise in love’, we both feed on our internal springs, and merge our waters in a dance.
So, back to gender prejudice. As long as we’re not conscious, fully balanced and rooted in a non-polar androgynous energy, we can’t avoid the sex-virus polarity game. We play with the other gender because we react to their polar outpouring. (Or we consciously play, but [balanced interaction] can only happen, in my experience, when we’ve dropped playing the game altogether for some time.)
Now, instead of two Beings meeting, we have a man and a woman meeting. And, according to our sexual preferences and judgments, we view them in a certain way, as potential mates, although we’re mostly aware that this has no reality.
Isn’t that silly? It brings with it many insecurities and lies, needs and demands, and it feeds on our unconscious relating patterns with the other sex. Women use it to get a higher paycheck from their male boss. Men use it to receive a favor from their female team member. And we all use it to feel accepted and worthy.
We use our sex drive and we play with these energies to satisfy hundreds of desires which have nothing to do with sexuality. By this we reduce sex to an equivalent of money, using it as a payment for the fulfillment of our needs, and never relating to a Being of the other gender as equal partners, but always through the glasses of the mating dance.
From my point of view, gender prejudices are only going to fall away when we’re able to stay centered and not move into our gender polarity whenever we meet a member of the other sex. Except for the intent of a sexual meeting, when we don’t change our energy, thoughts and behavior anymore according to the other Being’s gender, when it doesn’t matter anymore if the other Self we commune with is male or female, then we finally become Human.