Yesterday I felt so much love that what I thought of as “me” disappeared.
What do I mean by that?
That which I experience as “me” comes along with worries, hopes, fears, concerns, anxieties, preferences, desires, etc. When the love I felt washed away the me, all the worries, concerns, etc., disappeared as well.
When I noticed they had disappeared, I also noticed that the point of reference that I considered “me” had also disappeared.
I’m not sure for how long it disappeared because I fell asleep at some point and lost track of my situation. The “me” that I think I am was back by the next morning with all its worries, hopes and fears.
I’m not saying it was part of the tsunami of love, although it may have been. But I think it was a second preview, the first being the wave of bliss I experienced on last Thursday’s Hour with an Angel. (1)
I say a “preview” because the Mother said that the impact of the tsunami of love would be permanent and this was not. But even as a trailer, it was dramatic and utterly welcome.
The sense of peace I felt was the result of all my cares being swept away. It wasn’t something that descended. My cares were washed away leaving nothing in their wake.
One of the things I saw from this is that, at this moment, I exist as a point, a focused spot, which I would imagine is infinitely elastic but definite and unmistakeable (relatively speaking).
It’s as if I have an IP address in the universe, as if I can be located by GPS – almost. That spot, that point of focus is “me.”
And around it cluster all my worries, hopes and fears. When that point or spot is evaporated or blown away, well, I’m not sure what happens to the worries, hopes and fears that cling to me, but I’m no longer aware of them.
And, at that moment, I was no longer aware of myself as a definite entity. I was only aware of love. Just as the explosion of love I felt in November washed away separativeness for a time, so here the love I felt washed away my worries, hopes and fears for a time.
Now I descend into speculation. I’m not a spiritual teacher and I don’t want to leave the impression that I want to be or am trying to be. I don’t want to be one. It isn’t my mission. But I do love this subject.
I speculate that the ultimate disappearance of the point of focus that I consider myself to be is (potentially) the same as the heart opening that Sri Ramana Maharshi discusses here.
“[The] heart [hridayam] is the seat of Jnanam [Wisdom] as well as of the granthi (knot of ignorance). It is represented in the physical body by a hole smaller than the smallest pin-point, which is always shut.” (2)
It is this knot or nexus that results in the experience of myself as a point of focus, I think. The nexus is loosed when the heart opens.
“When the mind drops down in Kevalya Nirvikalpa [Samadhi], [the heart] opens but shuts again after it.
“When Sahaja [Nirvikalpa Samadhi] is attained it opens for good.” (3)
Kevalya Nirvikalpa Samadhi, also known as God-Realization or Brahmajnana, occurs when the kundalini reaches the seventh chakra and results in a temporary heart opening. This is not liberation from the need to be reborn into physicality (Third Dimensionality).
Sahaja Nirvikalpa Samadhi occurs when the kundalini reaches the Hridayam or spiritual heart (not the heart chakra) and results in a permanent heart opening. This is liberation or what we call Ascension.
We’ve already heard our sources say that the tsunami of love, in which I believe we’ll have a heart opening, probably partial, probably temporary, is not Ascension. I asked the Divine Mother that question:
Steve: Now, my understanding is this event is not Ascension. But can you tell us what this event is and what we can expect from it, and where it fits into the Plan, what it contributes to our movement towards Ascension, please?
Divine Mother: It is another expansion of your ability to hold love and heart consciousness. (4)
And more recently Ashtar through Philipp said:
“I’d like to emphasize that the Love Transformation is not your Ascension. Ascension, as you all know very well by now, is a process that unfolds step by step. But this Love Transformation is one of the key elements of your Ascension journey.” (5)
If it were Ascension, the heart opening would be permanent. It seems that there will be permanent expansion but not to the extent that Ascension will bring.
I think expansion has to be considered as a question of degree, with the added parameter that reaching a certain degree will have us reach a tipping point, a critical mass that will bring Ascension in its train.
Returning to Sri Ramana, he says:
“The granthi is the knot which ties the insentient body to the consciousness which functions in it; that is why when it is loosened temporarily in Kevalya Nirvikalpa [Samadhi] there is no body consciousness.” (6)
I wasn’t aware of whether I felt body consciousness or not. I didn’t focus on it – or anything else to be quite honest, except the love I felt.
“He for whom the Atman [soul, Christ, Self] alone shines, within, without and everywhere, as (clearly as) objects to the ignorant, is called one who has cut the nexus. …
“Once the knot is cut, one is never bound again. This is considered the state of power supreme and peace supreme.” (7)
So once the knot is not simply loosened temporarily in the experience of kevalya, but cut asunder in the experience of sahaja (Ascension), one is never bound again. I can imagine that Sri Ramana would see it as “power supreme and peace supreme” but we know it as no more than Fifth-Dimensional consciousness and we also know that much more lies beyond it.
I think Sri Ramana also knew that but probably could not take the conversation that far with his listeners without confusing them. But here we are a little more than a half-century later and becoming familiar with the mechanics of liberation. How cool is that?
I’m not saying that I experienced a heart opening. I don’t think I did. But I do think that the utter disappearance of the point of focus that I think of as myself, when it does come, will lead first to what Sri Ramana calls Kevalya Samadhi (Brahmajnana) and later to what he calls Sahaja Samadhi, which to us is Ascension.
That movement will be from a temporary to a permanent heart opening and will see the disappearance of what we conventionally think of at this moment as “me.”
When that happens, I surmise that I, or you, or we, will just be love.
Footnotes
(1) SB: Well, you know, Lord, I suspect that I’m getting a download because I’m almost awash with bliss here. It’s very hard to do a radio program when you feel as blissful as I do. You almost forget what it is you’re doing. If this is a foretaste of the tsunami of love, it’s wonderful.
AAM: And this has been my goal this day, to give you a wash, all of you, to feel our love. (“Archangel Michael: Swept Away in a Tsunami of Love – Part 2/2,” Jan. 11, 2014, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2014/01/archangel-michael-swept-away-in-a-tsunami-of-love-part-22/.)
(2) Sri Ramana Maharshi in S.S. Cohen, Guru Ramana. Memories and Notes. 6th edition. Tiruvannamalai: Sri Ramanasramam, 1993, 96.
(3) Loc. cit.
(4) “The Divine Mother: You Are Experiencing Love in Ways that You Have Not Known Before,” channeled by Linda Dillon, November 14, 2013, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2013/11/the-divine-mother-you-are-experiencing-love-in-ways-that-you-have-not-known-before/.
(5) “Ashtar: The Love Transformation,” channeled by Phillip, January 13, 2014, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2014/01/ashtar-via-philipp-a-new-message-the-love-transformation/
(6) Sri Ramana Maharshi, ibid.
(7) Sri Ramana Maharshi in Vasistha Ganapathi, ed., Sri Ramana Gita. Tiruvannamalai: Sri Ramanashramam, 1977, 49-55.