I’m so happy to see Mateo’s article (no, we’ve never met) that I have to use the opportunity to make an extended comment, almost an article, to go with it.
I consider the subject of primary importance.
What Mateo here calls “your deepest core wound” I call a “root vasana” and Linda Dillon calls a “core issue.”
Metaphorically speaking, core wounds or vasanas are the overburden the lies on top of the Self. They’re all that stand between us and knowing the Self.
Healing them will remove the overburden. That frees our awareness to dive deeply rather than being distracted by endless surface issues. It also makes what awareness has to travel through less dense.
The Self actually “resides” in what scriptures call “the seat of the Soul.”
Once we’re able with our awareness to go deep inside the heart, we dive underneath, deeper than, and beyond the vasanas.
I can say from experience that approaching it is like going through a tunnel. There it is at the end of the tunnel. Think Fantastic Voyage. Finally we reach the seat of the Soul, where it shines.
But let’s return to healing the core wounds, as Mateo discusses.
To get through the vasanas, we actually have to find an approach that works for us and use it. The dishes won’t get done without us washing them.
The work I favor is identifying the feeling (humiliation, unrequited love, dread, etc.) and, from that, the root incident. Allow the root incident to be fully remembered and then experience what arises along with the memory.
Experience it through to completion. Don’t get distracted until it’s entirely gone.
It can often be like riding a bucking bronco of really-unpleasant feelings and sensations – if they’re indeed what Mateo calls “core wounds.” Nevertheless, what we experience lifts; what we resist persists. (1)
Perhaps use what Mateo says here to describe the whole of your inner mechanism in the face of pain, unpleasantness, loss, sorrow, etc.
Depending on where you are with your vasanas, you may be able to get underneath the whole of them now. Or you may need to begin or continue to experience whatever you’ve been resisting. (2) There are no hiding places and no shortcuts.
What name we use to discuss this subject is of no importance. If we can get the importance of healing our core wounds from Mateo, that’d be wonderful.
This article is not meant to apply to the much-younger generation, who were apparently born with fewer (if any) vasanas.
(1) Werner Erhard.
(2) Go see a sad movie like A Star is Born.
How to Discover Your Deepest, Darkest “Core Wound”
Mateo Sol, Wake-up World.com, September 25th, 2018
In life, we all have the tendency to believe that we are unworthy on some deep, undefinable level.
Whether we believe that we are unworthy of happiness, pleasure, love or fulfillment, we all have a “core wound” deep inside that varies according to our circumstances and experiences. This deep, fundamental wound is the result of the foundational beliefs that we were taught since birth, contributing to the faulty self-image that we continue to carry around with us to this very day.
Our core wounds are our deepest-seated pains in life. They are our oldest and most miserable friends. For most of us, these core wounds within us are ruled by the following two mistaken beliefs:
1. “I am flawed and therefore a bad person.”
2. “I must change or fix something about myself in order to be acceptable.”
The Original Sin
Christian teachings make reference to our “core wound” all the time in the form of “original sin.” However, once we put aside the dogmatic associations connected with this notion, we see that “original sin” reveals something profound about our deep-rooted core wounds; how issues such as generational guilt, self-rejection, imbalanced self-esteem, and self-hatred has passed on from generation to generation.
Often, our core wounds start in childhood. When we are little we are free. We experience unconditional love and acceptance for all of our needs, and we are granted full expression of ourselves. We don’t experience any inner fragmentation or limitations at all. However, at some point during our childhood we began to experience constraints. As we “ate from the Tree of Knowledge” we slowly came up against invalidation from our parents, elders, and peers. We began to experience disapproval and punishment for being our authentic selves. And so, our core wounds began to deepen.
As our core wounds began to deepen throughout our childhoods, pubescent years, and subsequent adult years, we began to put up barriers of protection to keep other people from hurting us. Although in many cases this protected us, in the end it served to trap us inside, limiting our ability to experience true freedom and authenticity in our day-to-day lives and in every one of our relationships.
Our core wounds are the cause of most of the fatigue we experience in daily life, preventing us from accessing the huge stores of untapped energy, and potential within us. They are also what makes solitude so refreshing as they give us a momentary respite from the lies we tell ourselves and others to protect our deep, unhealed gashes.
Getting to Know Your Core Wound
Everyone experiences their “core wound” differently. Depending on your Soul Age, level of emotional sensitivity, and the level of rejection you faced while growing up, your core wound could be an irritating scab or a festering laceration.
How is your core wound manifesting itself in your life? Read the signs below:
- You enter relationships in the hopes of finding what you lack inside in the other person (i.e. you want to “feel complete”).
- You often feel inadequate, and you have the following thoughts: “I am not enough,” “I am incomplete,” “I am unlovable,” “I don’t count,” “I am imperfect,” “I am powerless,” and “I am bad.”
- You constantly feel a sense of abandonment, resentment and/or betrayal.
- You have a perfectionistic attitude towards life (i.e. you gain your self-esteem from the outcome of your actions instead of the intention behind your actions).
- You suffer from chronic anxiety. This comes as a result of anticipating the emotional pain of being found unworthy, which deep down you think is true.
- You repeat the same old mistakes in relationships. This is because you are trapped in a habitual mindset and don’t feel courageous enough to make a change.
- You find happiness in your misery because it’s a source of attention in the form of sympathy from other people.
- You have a strong Shadow Self.
- You behave in dishonest/inauthentic ways that are not true to the person you really are. You behave in this way to gain the acceptance of others.
- You feel numb inside. You feel a sense of meaninglessness and disconnection from the world around you. This is the ultimate defense mechanism: feeling nothing.
- You are your own worst critic (i.e. you constantly remind yourself how much of a “loser” or a “failure” you are).
- You always feel like an outcast, and you can never quite fit in with anyone. Instead of appreciating your uniqueness and seeing it as an opportunity, you see it as a curse.
The larger your core wound is, the more you experience Soul Loss. Often, this is passed onto the people around you (like a virus) — especially children, who are the most susceptible and vulnerable.
Healing Your Core Wound
The most suffering we experience from our core wounds revolves around the false self-images we present to the world. On one hand, we go through life pretending to be very important, and on the other, we believe that we are unworthy, ugly, dirty, unlovable, and stupid deep down.
The entire basis of the process of soulwork is to discover all of these little bits and pieces within ourselves that are broken and to first become aware of them.
We need to examine our wounds carefully, wash them using psychological and spiritual tools, and keep them clean until they heal. A good place to begin this process is by admitting that we are lying to ourselves. We need to stop avoiding the truth about our lives, and develop the courage to face our flaws and erroneous perceptions.
The truth is that existence has no concept of good or bad, only of creating balance. Judgment only occurs on a personal level. The first step to opening these wounds of yours is to stop lying to yourself, to stop avoiding the truth, and to become aware of all of your flaws and erroneous perceptions. To live a life feeling unworthy is to live as a victim of your circumstances — circumstances that you had no control over, and are not to blame for.
A greater Master once said, “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Only once you truthfully become aware of your core wound, of how you inherited your “original sin” and the idea that you’re imperfect, will you be able to find closure. Only by forgiving what keeps you from experiencing wholeness deep down can you become free.
What is your core wound? How has it shaped you? What limitations has it created in your life? And most importantly, what valuable lesson has trying to heal your core wound taught you?
Also by Mateo Sol:
- Spiritual Sex: 3 Types of Divine Union
- 6 Powerful Solfeggio Frequencies that Raise Your Vibration
- Hypnagogia: The Trippy Mental State That is the Key to Deep Self-Discovery
- 39 Self-Care Ideas for Those Who Struggle with Self-Love
- Signs and Omens: Listening to the Messages of Spirit
- Transforming Sexual Energy Into Spiritual Energy
- 21 Signs You’re Experiencing “Soul Loss”
- Soul Retrieval Can Heal Addiction, Trauma and Mental Illness – Here’s How
- Soulful Energy: Origins of the Soul
- Mind, Self, Spirit and Soul: What’s the Difference?
About the author:
Mateo Sol is a prominent psychospiritual teacher whose work has influenced the lives of thousands of people worldwide. Born into a family with a history of drug addiction, schizophrenia, and mental illness, Mateo Sol was taught about the plight of the human condition from a young age. However, at the age of 18, Sol experienced a spiritual awakening which aroused in him the desire to help others. After reconnecting with his ancient Peruvian roots and being initiated into their ancestral wisdom, Sol co-founded the influential spiritual website lonerwolf.com in 2012. As a shaman, soulwork therapist and spiritual guide, Sol’s mission is to help others experience freedom, wholeness, and peace in any stage of life.
This article How to Discover Your Deepest, Darkest “Core Wound” was originally published on lonerwolf.com.