I mentioned earlier that I believed that all experiences we’re being brought at this time – perhaps at any time – are either opportunities to clear or learning experiences.
I had a flash today that set off a whole train of thought. But I have to give a little background.
I have a vasana (or core issue) – one of my strongest – called “Don’t tell me what to do.” Here’s the story that goes with that vasana: As the runt of the litter, everyone was telling me what to do.
I used to spend a lot of time in my room, not simply to get away away from my overbearing Father, but away from everybody. I hate being told what to do. I won’t negotiate under duress. I’ll fight instead. End of story.
In the last week or two, I had a run of experiences of being told what to do. Of course I think it was stage-managed by the unseens.
And I saw in a flash that my very work will invite all kinds of people telling me what to do – scads and scads.
I can’t approach the matter as I have in the past where I make a big to-do about not telling me what to do. I have to handle the vasana and the conditioned behavior that flows out from it in another, more effective way.
And not handle it in the sense of completing the vasana. That goes without question. But handle it in the sense of finding an alternate way of being with what people say.
When I approached the matter from that angle, someone in the rafters put the idea in my head: “Make the translation.”
Yes, that’s it. Instead of demanding that the other person do things the way I wanted them done, which is never going to work – never has and never will – I need to make the translation.
When someone says to reject a certain person, I can hear “I don’t like that person very much.” When someone else says I should go in this direction, I can hear “I prefer this other direction.”
My intention after that is to thank them, tell them I’ll give the matter serious thought as I do all suggestions, and then consider the matter at leisure.
I can’t simply dismiss critics. From our critics come some of the best suggestions. They’re often experts in their field.
The fact that they make their suggestions in sometimes unreceivable manner may reflect the fact that no one might have listened to them in the past. Surely I can understand that one.
Yesterday I said “thank you” to one person who really got down into my hard-wiring and made a comment that was way out of bounds. So I’ve made a start.
I can’t control the world or my circumstances. I can only control my actions and reactions.
If I don’t stop behaving as if I can control things, I won’t last long in any kind of enterprise.
Any vasana or core issue I can complete or reframe before I hire the first employee will save a lot of grief later on.
One last thing: I’ve taken to heart Archangel Gabrielle’s advice to us to start small. (1) The smallest I can start with is myself.
Her talk affected me in another way as well. I think we have a built-in human program that has us value constant expansion.
But I realized that I don’t want to run the world. I have no ambition to build bigger and bigger. I’ve recalibrated in light of what she said. I now I plan to start small and get it right. And not necessarily expand, expand.
(1) “So, you would start, for example, a project, a small project, a manageable project – and I mean this for all of you, by the way, who are in this so use this as a template for many of your projects. You would start one locally and then you would choose areas of the globe where you are either conversant with the culture or have the contacts or simply that the abhorrence is so strong that you feel you must go.” (“Transcript ~ Archangel Gabriel on AHWAA: Start Small Recognizing the Magnitude of Gender Inequality, June 22, 2017,” at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2017/06/24/transcript-archangel-gabriel-on-ahwaa-you-are-in-the-throes-of-ascension/.)