I feel so much power coursing through me at this moment that I don’t know how to describe it or what to say about it and it can only be channeled into my writing.
We’ve had lightworkers speak the way I’m speaking right now and the results have often been disheartening. Some of them go off the deep end with it and we’re all left feeling disappointed. My deepest fear is that tomorrow I won’t feel any of this and I’ll look like an idiot for ever having brought the subject up. The path is fraught with pitfalls.
But I don’t believe that shying away from saying this will serve anyone. When we discover how powerful we are, when we realize that we are masters here, there will be some discombubulation. I’m just going through my discombobulation early and publicly because that’s what I agreed to do.
When we reach the moment where we have to choose between things we hold dear and achieving our maximum potential for the sake of the work, between the good things in life and that, between looking sane and that, what will we choose?
Will we choose to look like a person who’s totally lost his wits and step into our power? Or will we choose to “pass” in society and turn our backs on accepting our own personal power for the good it will bring? I throw caution to the wind and say: at this moment I feel more powerful than I can possibly imagine feeling.
At the same time, I need to make the disclaimer that I’m not looking for anything from anyone. I don’t need any of the things that people usually want who say what I’m saying right now. I don’t need to recount those, do I? I don’t even want to discuss the matter.
I have no interest in anything the world can offer. I simply want to serve the Mother. There isn’t anything else that’s here for me that interests me. I believe we call such a person a “lightworker,” do we not?
I believe that what’s happening to me will be happening to you soon enough, if it isn’t happening already.
This state of being is remarkable, really. It’s beyond feeling complete. Feeling complete is a state in which one is at rest. But I feel as if I could take on a whole army.
And that isn’t a statement that’s made about me physically. I mean, physically I’m about as much of a wreck as anyone my age who’s been inactive could be. It isn’t a physical power. And I’m having difficult putting into words exactly what it may be.
It has thrust to it, but at the same time I have no need or desire to begin or do anything. It truly is the state that Lao Tzu and Krishna talked about – the person who moves without moving, accomplishes without acting. I do know that state because I was in it in a meditation retreat two years ago.
I am you. This sense of power, which is dampened and contained by the human body, our vasanas, our constructed self and perhaps other things I’m not aware of, is the same power that you have as well. I only wish you could feel it with me, right here, right now. Perhaps you can. I do hope that’s the case.
There’s nothing I want to do right now more than close my eyes and simply meditate. But I know I must be up and doing.
I wonder if you get how confusing it all is. This physical wreck of a person who couldn’t wield a shovel for more than ten minutes is experiencing more power than he could ever imagine.
What to do? Where to go with this?
If you aren’t experiencing this yourself, then you can probably count on doing so before long because I think this is a stage on our Ascension journey. I suppose I’ll end here but, heavens, what am I to do next? What does one do in this situation? Where is all this leading to?
This is not a pitch. This is not a strutting about and saying what a good boy am I. I truly do not matter, as I’ve said many times. And if you try to relate to me as if I matter, I will say something rude. It simply isn’t about me.
The process matters. Ascension matters. Extending this opportunity to everyone on the planet matters. But the personal self does not matter.
This sense of personal power doesn’t need to go anywhere. It doesn’t need to do anything. It simply is.