In general mine is the path of awareness. In general, among lightworkers, I associate most with those familiar with the learnings of the Growth Movement. But specifically my path is the path of authenticity.
I did not say I was authentic. Authenticity is the goal I’m drawn to day after day.
I did not say I was perfect and make no pretensions to it.
The path of authenticity involves looking at one’s self, maintaining a kind of radar fix almost continually on what I’m thinking, what I’m doing, what I’m feeling. Perhaps that’s why they called us the “Me Generation.” Apart from the slight that was intended, we were aware of ourselves – our thoughts and our feelings.
Our feelings were especially important because it’s our feelings that decide our course of action, in our society. We now talk about “staying in the heart,” but then we would have talked about “staying with our feelings.”
It involves speaking to another consistent with what’s actually there for me. That isn’t always welcome. And I don’t always do it so splendidly. And it’s also an opening for people to try to manipulate me. (“Why don’t you be authentic?” someone could say) But that’s what’s involved nonetheless.
And it involves listening to another with the same ear for authenticity to get what’s being truthfully said. Again that doesn’t invite me to jump down another’s throat, which I have done. It doesn’t invite me to snoop on them either. But it does invite me to be open to who they (authentically, actually) are, acknowledge it, and support it.
A barrier on this path is the creation of a constructed self, a mask, an image. We then present the image instead of the self. People buy it or not. Win some, lose some. But empty and hollow.
Another barrier is the abandoning of authenticity in the face of fear, shame, or anger. The prize on this path is to be so afraid you’re nearly wetting your pants, so ashamed you can’t move your lips, and so angry you could almost burst, and still be neutrally authentic about one’s self. Not about the other person. That’s their concern and not mine. But about one’s self.
“Observe life as it is,” meditation master S.N. Goenka used to say, “not as you would like it to be.” Eventually if we observe long and deeply enough, we may feel an inner shudder, a breeze where there is no breeze.
I was lying in bed the other night and felt such a thing. Something was wanting to make itself known to me and I knew it was the soul, the Self, the object of the awareness path.
I love this path. Not saying you have to. Put 50 lightworkers in the same room and you’d probably have 40 different paths. But something about me loves it.
When I tread this path, I love to get up in the morning. Being with myself, in the clear and intense way of the awareness path, is a source of joy to me. Well, maybe not when I’m feeling sad and distraught but the greatest percentage of the time.
The whole world is my oyster as long as I’m able to be aware of it, authentically express myself into it, and meet others doing the same or at least open to it.