What Stops Me?

Originally posted to Galactic Roundtable discussion group on Feb. 14, 2009.

What stops me?

I am taking the view these days that everything that’s happening for me is happening because of what SaLuSa describes here:

“The frequency of energies being boosted upon Earth increases and will continue to do so as more openings are made. It is speeding up the growth of your Light, which is lifting you into the higher states of consciousness. Such a momentum cannot be stopped and it will continue until you reach the point of Ascension.

“At each stage in the process, every soul will be given the opportunity to link with the energies as it is a simple choice whether or not to draw it to yourself, as it is not imposed upon anyone. Yet to otherwise remain in it without doing so can lead to uncomfortable experiences, and you will have consciously chosen to stay at your present level.” (SaLuSa, 13 February 2009.)

Surely these “uncomfortable experiences” are part of “ascensionitis.”

Talking to Tricia yesterday about the personal hell of “uncomfortable experiences” I am going through right now, where my feelings seem to be all on the outside of my sleeve and I feel like a jellyfish, Tricia made a suggestion that is really helping to identify the source of them.

She suggested imagining myself going back through a scrapbook – 2009, 2008, 2007, 2006, 2005 … 1988, 1987, 1986 … until I hit a time when my soul asks me to stop,

Before she had told me about this, I had used a modified and not nearly as efficient version to get at a huge upset I had two days ago which I found to be linked to an instance of family violence when I was eight.   That version was just to remain open and watch for the first image I got.

But her more explicit technique helped me identify an upset I didn’t even know I was having which related to a relationship I got into with a woman in 1986 who was at the time still in an off-and-on relationship with another man. A threesome. We probably all know how little fun those are.

I spent a year trying to persuade the gal to drop the other relationship only, in the end, to have her drop both me and the other guy.  While I did not know it, I was presently involved in a relationship in which I was unconsciously trying to win the other person away from an existing relationship.

All this was going on way down below awareness. I don’t think I would ever have known about it without Tricia’s scrapbook technique.

My sense of myself right now is that every piece of unfinished business, every withheld truth, everything that is in some way “out” is coming up for completion.

So what stops me right now is the mass of my unfinished business itself, all my withheld energy tied up in ancient wounds.

Moreover, the kicker in all this is that, when, back in August 2008, I realized what was happening in my world – that we were at the end of a cycle and watching the fall of one order and the rise of another – I told all my friends what I had discovered and lost or gave up almost all of them.

Dates like October 14, 2008 came and went and left me looking so foolish I was told to leave my spiritual group because attendance was falling in the face of my sharing about flying saucers and the falling economy.

So here I am now, facing my unfinished business without being able to process it using the old supports and communication channels I had built up over so many years. I am really forced back on my own resources almost exclusively in my day-to-day life.

At exactly the time when things are coming up with lightning speed, I have fewer personal resources to handle them.

I thank Trish for this wonderful technique of going back through my scrapbook and just being with each feeling as it is identified – someone on GRT-CIP said to just “touch” the feelings, that was all that was needed to be done.  Someone else reminded me about the Ho’opono-pono. I haven’t yet studied that technique and will.

I am touching each feeling and just letting it be there, allowing it to give its message until it is complete and then moving on to the next.

If you saw me in person, I would look like a guy who is one moment sad and the next moment grounded and the next moment anguished. I look like the metal man in “Terminator 2,” dissolving into conflicting emotions.  It is proving to be a roller-coaster ride.

Welcome to the Ascension energies.  Who said it was going to be all bliss? And when will the hurting stop?

When I am complete with it all, I imagine. Surely this is the work that I have to do myself. Until I serve myself by doing this work of clearing, I suspect I am not really and reliably ready to serve anyone else.

This work of completion, is it not what we are here for?

Thank you for listening.



Print Friendly