Discovering that the love we bring up from the depths – where we, all of us, exist as God – washes away existential loneliness is proving such a fruitful discovery for me that I’d like to say more on the subject, if you’d allow me.
I can only remember one other discovery that rivals it, in my scale of values. And that was finding in 1977 that awareness varies inversely proportional to muscular tension in the body.
That dawning awareness came to me as a result of growth work at Cold Mountain Institute, est and Enlightenment Intensives. And it became the foundation of my work with vasanas.
It’s becoming clearer now that other methods of clearing vasanas are proving quicker and easier. One technology serves for a while and then is superseded. And I acknowledge that my own has probably now been superseded.
What I’ve learned from this last round with existential loneliness – which has still not returned days later – is that answers like these are probably always there and available but it’s sometimes only in the greatest extremity that we see them.
To phrase that another way, only when cognitive dissonance grows so great that we cannot tolerate it any longer do we drop the paradigm we’ve been living in and take a fresh look at what is actually present that our former paradigm has prevented us from seeing.
The relationship between loneliness and love appears to revolve around choice. As long as we choose to be lonely, love wanes and disappears. But as soon as we choose love, loneliness disappears. The universe seems to respect our choices.
Perhaps it’s not quite that simple and straightforward. A weak choice to love will not, I imagine, overcome, a strong attachment to loneliness.
I don’t mean that we’re consciously holding on to loneliness, but more that we think that loneliness cannot be worked with, that we have to endure it, that nothing can change the situation … except the passage of time.
I’ve tried taking a stand to banish existential loneliness and it hasn’t worked that well. I’ve tried to source or complete it as I would a vasana but this form of loneliness doesn’t appear to be a vasana. Or if it is, it’s a universal vasana, too obviously and continuously present to notice until it seems overwhelming.
But it does succumb to love very quickly.
Now taking this deeper: I’m seeing that loneliness as a result of felt separation from God is a subset of a larger unwanted condition, which I’m going to call existential emptiness.
Of course, we are in fact empty – of all material things. Our essential nature is formless, transcendental emptiness but, to the ego, at least, emptiness looks like a supremely-threatening condition of existence.
The ego appears willing to do anything to avoid feeling empty. As I said a few days ago, (2) it will fill any and all felt emptiness with objects and experiences, which satisfy for a while and then pale.
The way life was set up, I think, is that nothing material can satisfy us for long. Only God satisfies completely.
What that results in is that we engage in an endless cycle of desire. We desire something, gain it, are satisfied for a while, and then, when it fails to satisfy any longer, hanker for something else.
It isn’t the attainment of the object that satisfies. It’s the cessation of desire for a brief moment at the time of attaining the object. The quietude and satisfaction results from a momentary cessation of desire, not from having the object itself.
I now see that, while we’re empty of material things, we’re not empty of love. Love is not a material thing. The flow of love, I see now, goes on within what we perceive as emptiness.
That’s as far as I’ve gotten with the matter. But it’s proving more fruitful than any other awareness exploration that I’ve followed to date.
We need all kinds of explorations in this world. The channeled messages are promoting many paths of wide diversity. If you look at Jesus’s “The Third Way,” you’ll see an example of a master promoting my path, the path of awareness. (3)
I mean my own exploration to be just one of that multitude of explorations on one of a multitude of paths, by any one of which, sincerely followed, we dive into our divinity and experience it.
(1) “Nothing that Exists can be Less than God,” at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2014/04/20/jesus-via-john-smallman-nothing-that-exists-can-be-less-than-god/.
(2) See “The Answer for me is Love” at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2014/04/18/the-answer-for-me-is-love/.
(3) “Jeshua via Pamela Kribbe: The Third Way” at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2014/01/26/jeshua-the-third-way/.