Boy, yesterday was a day I hope never to have to go through again.
Examples of lightworkers behaving badly. Never reassuring. Sitting down to get the full estimate of Matthew’s message with its news that Disclosure may not happen for a while because of the fear that’s been built up on the planet. Managing the fall-out from people’s disappointment over no mass arrests.
I said earlier that I don’t feel myself going down into the depths of despair any more. Yesterday was as big an invitation to do so as I’ve encountered in weeks.
So how am I going to manage this – so much disappointment within me, within us?
I think I do need to say one thing before sourcing this upset. I hear one strain of argument that we humans would have been fine righting the situation on this planet. Allied to that strain is the observation that we freed ourselves from the cabal.
I really don’t think either observation is true. Based on how we’ve performed in just the lightworker efforts I’m aware of, I tend to agree with whoever it was – Matthew, someone else – that it would have taken us a thousand years to emerge from under the thumb of the cabal. We lightworkers – including myself, by the way – have shown ourselves to be at times fearful, foolish, and fractious.
I think we were in too deep. I don’t think we could have won our freedom from the dark ones without the help of our ascended star brothers and sisters. There’ll probably arise at some time a classic debate over whether we could have done it on our own. Please put me down for the “No” side. I consider their help indispensable.
So here I am flat today, wondering if I can even write. How will I source this upset?
I can’t leapfrog over it, paint a smile on my face. That won’t work. It’ll only leave the mass of upset simmering away down there, with a happyface planted on top of it.
No, there’s no way around needing to experience the upset through completely. There never was a way around it.
But why is it that we need to experience our upsets through completely? What is the deeper reason? Why is there a way to be that works and a way to be that doesn’t? What is it about the human makeup, the human situation that obliges us to experience our experience?
Experiencing completely without resistance works. Resisting experiencing doesn’t work. The experiences that we resist persist. But why?
My sense of it is that the purpose of life is to wake up from the dream but for us to wake up from the dream we have to see all parts of it as a dream. We have to know the dream as a dream.
And if we resist any part of it, we’re investing reality in the dream. We’re taking the dream seriously. As long as we take the dream seriously, we remain asleep.
The ideal position that we seek to take is the position that God takes naturally. After all, if the purpose of life is to know ourselves as God, so that God can meet God in a moment of enlightenment, then we have to behave as God behaves. And God does not take the dream seriously.
God cares. I’m not saying that God doesn’t. Krishnamurti always said that the bias of life, which we’re to be passively aware of, is towards compassion. Buddhists advise equanimity but also loving kindness. We’re not to be detached towards life and not care.
Or to look at it another way: It’s necessary to know both the Father and Mother (1) if we’re to know God in Its totality. The Father is detachment but the Mother is love. It’s love that holds each atom together – the power, the attraction of love – even if the Formless is detached.
Detachment plus love – for me that’s the stance appropriate to a creature, a creation of God. Yes, that’s the answer.
That is the answer.
My upset fades away and the smile returns. But it isn’t plastered over top of anything. I’m genuinely smiling. I’ve found the appropriate posture towards life. Experiencing life through completely from this posture is possible, even manageable. Eureka!
Footnotes
(1) Life at different levels of reality is conventionally distinguished by being called the “Father” or the “Mother.” The Father denotes the Transcendental Absolute, the Formless Realm that is all there is and within which the Material World, or the dream, goes on. The Mother denotes the Phenomenal Realm, the Material World, the world of matter, mater, Mother. The Father is still and silent; the Mother is active and sonic. The Father is detached; the Mother is love. It’s the Mother’s love that holds the atoms of matter and everything else together.