Written: March 6, 2009
A “share” occurs when I tell the truth about myself. That truth may be a felt truth, a believed truth, a known truth, a perceived truth, etc. What one share holds in common with another is its relationship to the truth – my truth.
I use “shares” as the major tool of my emergence. I use my shares to strip off layer after layer of the onion of self-protection until what is left is nothing but transparency.
I retreat from sharing when I feel my survival, or the survival of anything with which I identify, seems at stake. The more I’m into survival, the less I share, unless I break through (i.e., emerge).
Usually when I haven’t shared, the reason is the same: I fear you. I fear what you will do to me. I fear giving you information about myself. I’m protecting myself from you.
A share is not a download of factual information. It is not a scientific assertion. It is not the “truth” about someone else. A share is the truth about me, from me, to you. Your share would be the truth about you, from you, to me.
My share is neither more nor less important than yours. As far as I’m concerned, all shares are born equal. Shares are the great equalizer. King or commoner, everyone has a truth to tell. I seldom tire of listening to your truth.
A share is only “verifiable by me.” I’m the expert on what I’m feeling inside this rental unit. You may know my habits, my acts, my opinions, but you’ll probably never know the truth for me. And even if you think you do, whether or not that is actually the truth for me is something only I can say. Even if I lie, I remain the last word on what the truth really is for me.
Where I’m at with my life is where I’m at. It is neither better nor worse than where you’re at with yours. All of us go through the same steps from God to God. Some of us were released as sparks earlier than others. But all travel the same general road to the same specific Destination.
If I am in Seattle and you are in Chicago, if my time zone is Pacific Standard and yours is whatever it is, what difference? The same with shares.
Something shared is past. Release comes only from the next share. The value that I receive from sharing is not something I can put in a piggy bank. Yesterday’s share is gone. Everything now rests on the share of this moment.
I know when I’ve shared the truth because I feel release. The truth has set me free. I know when I haven’t shared the truth because I feel stress. Moving away from the truth has further bound me.
My share, to be of any value, does not rip your face off. Since a share is about myself, staying with myself is one sure way to see that harmlessness prevails. Sharing maximizes harmlessness. If my sharing harms, there is no value to it.
Sharing takes me away from blame-based communication by centering my attention on me. I hear your share. I acknowledge it and mirror it back to you. Then I respond with how it is for me. After a while, I no longer mind your business. The increasing release I feel from sharing captures my attention.
Hopefully you will no longer mind my business too, but the bigger gain is simply for me to keep on sharing no matter what you do.
Shares have their time and place. The traffic cop and the bus driver may not want to share with me. Air traffic controllers do not share with each other. I wouldn’t want a medic to collapse in tears at the sight of suffering, sharing how it is for him or her.
President Obama may, on occasion, not want to be transparent for the good of the nation. Not all the world’s business can be conducted through sharing, although an increase in sharing probably wouldn’t hurt.
Emergence is the name of the game for me. Your emergence is what I’m here for (mine too). I am a space to receive your share and in which the truth of mine arises.