This document has been drafted to assist with disagreements or issues but more importantly to help us remember that we are each unique, beautiful, diverse beings and to realize that, if issues do surface, this could be a “gift.” From differences of opinion and/or inner and outer issues, can come openings to greater truths and insights.
Issue Resolution Principles
When an issue between two people or an issue in a group arises, we agree that:
1. We’ll resolve it by means of a conversation or conversations with or without a mediator, using Perro language if necessary, and reflective listening,
2. A sacred space is present/created so both and/or all parties feel comfortable and able to share from the heart.
3. There will be dedication to getting through the issue.
4. We hold that a mediated process can be very effective in flattening issues.
5. Often what appears to be outer conflict can be inner conflict.
6. Little that upsets us has much to do with present company; almost all of it has its roots in the past.
7. Often we may be catering to our own feelings of powerlessness, vasanas, core issues, and false grids, rather than genuinely seeking a resolution
Tools/Practices for Issue Resolution
We agree to:
1. Clearly define the issue or issues that separate individuals.
2. Clearly define the principles each person honors, relevant to the resolution of the issue; eg. integrity, fairness, compassion.
3. Put aside sidebar discussions (gossiping, talking without the person involved being present) that simply fracture groups (therapeutic discussions are an exception).
4. Create a space so individuals feel safe to voice their inner and outer conflict and
5. Recognize that a mediator acts as a neutral person for both parties and having each party speak to the mediator rather than to each other can be effective
6. Provide enough listening for each party so their case on an issue or issues can been completely stated.
7. Give each party an adequate opportunity to respond
8. Acknowledge and recognize the emotional component, the content that lies underneath — the feelings which are important.
9. Acknowledge that emotions don’t need a reason, that they exist in a region without reason, and to acknowledge these feelings.
10. Reassure with the knowing that we are not to take anything personally
11. Trust in the sacred Self and each other.
12. Respect and love each other with tolerance and patience.
13. Clearly define what constitutes the condition of satisfaction for both parties to declare a mutual resolution.
14. Know the process is complete when the emotions that were triggered have basically vanished or lifted.
15. Recognize that the mediator opens up the space for healing, to work the issue or issues through, resolve it, and to put it aside, or to know sometimes it is simply to accept that there is a difference, to honour that and agree not to fight about it.
16. Know that individual truths can differ.
17. Know, in group situations, that the “mantle of power” is to be shared, meaning that there are times when one person will step forward because their talents and abilities are fitted for what is before us and then that person will step back and another will step forward; to realize we are all “pieces of the puzzle” of the “grand mosaic” of the Mother’s Divine Plan.
18. To know it can be a good practice to stand back at times and find the humour
19. To know our guides and the All want us to find a way through our issues and are standing by to help.
20. To make kind, gentle acknowledgements before leaving a clearing or mediated call: we are not here to harm anyone, we are here to support one another, and to ask, “Have you felt heard?” “Have I understood you?” “How are you doing?”
Fears around mediated calls
1. That the mediator will want to advise rather than listen
2. That not enough listening will be offered to get the issue completely stated
3. That the mediator will be in their head/unconscious, simply bent on reaching a “successful” outcome (i.e., taking credit, claiming the collar, etc.), instead of honoring the needs of the participants and flowing with things