What is it that has people crave to feel important? Or special?
Michael once said that we’d feel elevated after the Reval. He hoped we’d take the elevator to the basement.
I see it in myself. When I look at myself, I see a child who was made to feel of little worth and much bother. I crave acceptance. Sincere praise is even better. (But I’m aware of it so it doesn’t work as a manipulation.)
I imagine others have a similar story. Parenting is still not taught in school or university, as far as I know. We all get launched into this world at age 20 or so and make the best of it, with our vasanas going off like rockets all the time. I don’t think there’s a clinic for parents.
Or for married partners. Or for communication skills, personal finances, on and on the really important subjects go that we’re left to navigate on our own. Couples who’ve remained married are, I’m led to believe, in a distinct minority.
To feel important or special is like a siren song. It’s like fine liquor or a good cigar. At last we’re vindicated, a strong desire within us says. We did it! We were right! See, I told you so! We want to feel totally vindicated in our lives. They worked out. We were right.
The humor in it is that, as I experienced in my 2018 experience at Xenia, we are already at essence innocent and pure and always were. There is no “original sin.” There is only “original innocence.”
I’m guilty of forgetting what I saw that day (the Self) but I don’t think I’ll ever forget the feelings of innocence and purity I felt, gazing on the Light.
The place I aim to reach is to understand my background and realize what responsibilities it imposes on me. Rather than allowing me to strut around like a self-important poobah, it’s really an indication of scope of duty expected from me.
The fact that I haven’t the slightest personal knowledge or experience of that background doesn’t really matter. The responsibility that goes along with it does.