In the course of researching an article yesterday, I came across this page from my Ascension ethnography in April 2012 that details an experience which I could not possibly remember. Absolutely no memory traces remain. Thank heavens, I wrote it down.
It seems like a good attempt to capture an experience as it’s happening and dovetails with our discussion of security as a created state I’ll be having tomorrow. It reflects a significant moment of life for a follower of the awareness path.
I reprint it for its potential usefulness.
“Checking-In,” April 24, 2012, at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2012/04/24/checking-in/
Since part of my my job is to go through experiences publicly, transparently, I suppose I should check in.
It’s been seven hours since what I think of as a watershed experience occurred. After writing about it, I lay down and slept for perhaps three hours.
In my sleep, I was so eager to hold onto the space that I pinched it off inadvertently. When I awoke I believed that I had lost the experience, only to find that it returned when I meditated.
Ordinarily it’s our fate to have a peak experience like this and lose it, get it and lose it. And I wouldn’t be surprised to find that that happens now. But at the moment I’m in that watershed state again.
How do I feel? There’s an overwhelming calmness to being in this space. It very much resembles the state I was in a year ago at the Vipassana retreat, which Archangel Michael later told me was an experience of my Oversoul or Higher Self. As it occurred in that retreat, so it’s occurring now: I’m not very much moved to activity. I’m much more inclined to remain meditative.
In addition to calmness, there’s a silence and passivity to this state. I experience no thoughts. My mind is a windless place where the candle of attention does not flicker.
I have no inclinations arising. Periodically I get the thought that I should eat and then it falls away; then the thought that I should go outside and it falls away. I will eat; please don’t misunderstand me. But there’s no urgency to anything and the only thing that persists is the intention to remain in this state, whatever it requires.
I’d be totally unable to see to anything practical at this moment. I leave my commitments in abeyance. I have to hope that everything proceeds as it should until whatever this experience is leading to completes itself. I have one or two commitments tomorrow and am focused on keeping them.
Saul has said that we might look forward to an entrance into higher realms of consciousness soon. I thought he was referring to Ascension from his perch in the Continuum. But maybe he was meaning sooner than year’s end. If this is an entry into higher consciousness, I’m delighted. If it’s a slow rise up the dimensional ladder, I’m still delighted. If it’s a passing experience, that comes and goes and leaves only a slight residuum, I’m still very grateful for it.