How very hard it is to “call oneself” on something that goes wrong.
How habituated I am (we are?) to blame. Or so it seems.
Kathleen is practicing turnaround whenever she sees herself thinking of blaming someone for something that went wrong.
How novel an approach that is in our contemporary society.
We have books on how to polish our image, dress for success, win at office politics, etc., but few on ways that actually do work in relationship – and why they work. Turning around blame actually works to stop the blame cycle.
If we can see it in another, we must have some charge on it ourselves.
Two things can happen to stop the blame cycle.
One, if we see we’re “to blame,” then blame automatically stops, because we seldom blame ourselves. (OK, a self-sabotaging person might.)
Two, if we see we’re looking at the world through a blame filter, for whatever reason, then again we see our role in things and blame stops by this approach as well.
All the time, it’s the blaming attitude that we may want to chiefly observe. Attitude is linked to feeling; feeling is linked to traumatic event. All of these are part of the vasana or core issue.
Kathleen said to me the other day that we’ll soon need to be able to meet with anyone and not get triggered. That’s a high mark. I’m not there. But it’s a very practical goal for people who’ll be playing internationally, as many of us will after the Reval.
How many people would actually take the time and trouble to cleanse themselves to that degree – that they can meet anyone and not get triggered?
Today I took turnaround a step further, myself. I found myself judging a fellow bus passenger. I didn’t wait for a turnaround situation to notice that I was doing that. I made a note of it.
I speculated that I probably feared judgement as well. My fearing it follows on from my doing it. My doing it sets up the filter through which I’d be perceiving others. I’d be seeing blame and blame-worthiness where other people, cleansed of this attitude, would not.
The next place to go is to watch the blame cycle so minutely that I get to the bottom of what the conclusions and decisions are at the root of it – the messages to myself – and start to desensitize myself to those issues through apologies, forgiveness, and self-observation.
This is all preparation for being an effective financial wayshower and steward of the Mother’s wealth. Blame is not an effective or acceptable foundation on which to base a Nova-Earth organization.
The finger pointing at another ignores the three fingers pointing at me.
How reticent I am (we are?) to see that.