This is a page in my ascension ethnography.
I used to have a photographic memory. I’ve often said in the past that I could remember the place on a page that (an important) quote I used appeared – for instance, upper-right hand corner of page 27. I’d see the text in my mind.
Not only that, but I could also recount many conversations verbatim.
However, now, and for the past any number of years, I’ve had my short-term memory progressively taken away.
I cannot remember the simplest of things. The other day I asked a friend twice within a half hour what day it was.
If I want to go to lunch with a friend, I have to put up stickie notes all over the apartment, set alarms, post reminders, etc. It’s crazymaking.
I asked AAM once why he did it and he responded that he wanted me to forget about the Third Dimension.
Well, and here’s the page in my ethnography, I am actually starting to forget the Third Dimension.
I don’t know if others can appreciate how scary an experience that is – unless you try it.
I can feel myself gradually, slowly letting go of interest in Third Dimensionality. But in a total kind of way – not like a particular sight or sound. Not like I’ve lost my taste for Japanese food. But I’ve lost my taste for the Third Dimension itself.
My lack of interest matches my lack of memory. I must guard against looking like a zombie. How do we pass in society while ascending?
The only clue I have on what’s next, what to do while waiting for Godot, etc., is: Love, love, love. When in doubt, love. When you can’t think of something to do, love. When you forget why you’re here, love.
Gosh, that sounds so over-used. I guess that’s how we hide the truth in plain sight: Overuse it. But it can’t be said too often that where we’re headed is love. How we’ll get there is love. What our reward will be will be deeper and deeper experiences of love. Until we melt and … well, I haven’t been there yet, but I’m sitting at the gate asking to be let in.