Written before the recent spiritual experience.
I love; therefore I am.
I’m aware; therefore I am.
I’m confident; therefore I am.
Last night I experienced the rise of something pretty much foreign to me. It was a balanced, mature, and neutral confidence.
Not a common occurrence for me. As it came into my awareness, I asked it on what mission it had come to me? What was its purpose and what caused its arrival?
And in a flash of insight, I realized that nothing caused its arrival. Nothing caused it, period.
I was confident for no reason.
Having seen that, I also saw that confidence was part of my natural default, just like peace and love are. It wasn’t even something that arises. The barriers to the experience of it fall away.
It was always already there awaiting my recognition of it. I’m going to personify “awareness” here and say that Awareness became aware of the always-already presence of confidence.
It wasn’t overbearing confidence. It wasn’t narcissistic confidence.
It was balanced in the sense that it did not disturb my abiding in the center, in the middle, in the heart. It was neutral in the sense that it did not send me off in a direction to satisfy a desire or invite me to become attached to anything.
Its principal contrarium is the belief, inherited from generations of society, that confidence is equivalent to arrogance.
Simple, bare confidence is not. It allows for love and is always appropriate. Note to self: Make “Confidence” a subject of the new Social Science of Love.