It’s the beginning of a new year for most of us, and I have a guilty secret to share. It’s a guilt I’ve recently rediscovered. No doubt this is a feature of the rising vibrational environment.
I’ve long given up doing anything which I know will bring me guilt, but in this year of what I hope will be a year of greater transparency in all ways, so I want to share this discovery.
Taking a look at this secret guilt I’ve been holding, I see how it’s been a defining feature of so many of my personal experiences along the way. Looking at my life in this way, I find the evidence of how I’ve allowed what I knew to begin with to be put aside in favor of what looked like was ‘the way things work’.
Here’s an example of what I’m talking about. From the time I was very small, still a toddler, I remember knowing when a lie was told. I remember this being completely incomprehensible to me at that time. Why would anyone do this? I could feel the lie inside me and knew it wasn’t right and wasn’t real, and yet there it was.
I got in a lot of trouble calling out lies, and then I stopped doing that out of self-preservation. By the time I was four or five years old, I was smart enough to get it right, and getting it right meant that I kept shut about lies being told in my presence. Getting it right meant that I accepted those lies and acted as if they were true.
This is what worked, and the evidence that this was so was all around me all the time. Everyone else was doing this too. Maybe they didn’t feel the lies inside them like I did. Maybe it didn’t hurt them like it hurt me.
I think all of us could make a long list of personal experiences like this. Lies which are told over and over in order to build up the energy to make others accept them as true are only a simple and obvious example of what I’m referring to here.
On my journey to grow up in this environment of untruth and get into the life-stream of this world, I’ve made so many foundational choices along the way like this one simple choice as a child. The choice to put aside my knowing what isn’t in alignment with truth and goodness in favor of what works.
It led me to become the most masterful liar. I mean why not? It’s what works, right?
Along this path I took were many reasons to justify this too. Many, if not all, of the lies were justified in self defense, as all lies are in their core. Lies are the grease of wheels of vulnerability protection kung fu tactics. I can’t trust all these liars, so I can tell what lies I need to in order to protect myself.
But, I’m not here to talk about lies and transparency. I’m here to talk about how the very foundations of my life experiences are coming up out of the habit and unconsciousness zone to show me, in the light of the current energies, what I’ve sacrificed on the altar of what works and what gets me through the day.
I stopped lying a long time ago, but the results of this choice to accept lies and behave as if they’re true in order to be in with the ‘in-crowd’ (family, friends and everyone else too), and to be savvy to what works, is still a defining feature of a whole lot of my automatic pilot foundational unconscious behavior and beliefs.
Without the will to dig deeper and reexamine this, my life has recently become a frustrating place. I’m looking for ways that work in a new paradigm of energetic and dynamic vibrations, and it is presenting consistently like I’m moving two steps forward and three steps back. This is being reported to me by many others as well.
Bringing my will to examine more carefully my own foundations has been annoying. It asks me to stop where I am and take the time to look at stuff I ought to know by heart by now. I’m not a kid anymore. I’m a responsible and sovereign being on a mission. I have intent, I have heart, I have many talents and attributes which are good. I care, and I’m willing to get busy with all that everyday.
A part of me resents having to deal with the level of energy that’s being asked for to reexamine ‘what I know works’ and understand that it won’t work anymore. What no longer works is anything being built on foundations that aren’t in alignment with divine principles, and that bar is set for the good of and the honoring of all beings. This is a tall order indeed.
‘What I know works’ has been that I can disregard the highest level I know is right in transparency, or the highest bar that could be set for all of my behaviors, including everything I do, and say, the ways I regard both myself and others. Though what’s really gotten my attention about all this is the my desire to build ways to go forward in ways that work for everyone.
This has been a big wake up call for me, and it’s no doubt the perfect time for it to appear. This isn’t the first time I’ve had these sorts of thoughts about principles and foundations I build my life on, but it’s the first time I feel like the Universe is supporting this raising of the bar which sets the foundation for these choices in all ways.
It feels good to share this too. I forgive this guilt I feel about how short I’ve fallen, in light of the fact that we’re all here doing the best we can in each moment. I’m doing the best I can and so are you, wherever you are in this.
If this is the defining feature of this current year, 2015, this asking for this return to basics and foundations to apply a higher standard for the sake of the good of all, then we certainly have our work cut out for us. I feel strongly like this is going to be the way it rolls out, but time will tell if I’m correct or not.
Blessings to all who care and who are struggling with these challenges. ‘What works’ is going to be a category that’s going to be having a major upgrade, I believe, in order to rebuild this world in ways that will produce the world we dream of. I’m truly grateful to do my part in this, and grateful to be among those who are here with this same intent.