What I failed to understand was that a core issue was something we’d rather die than face. It had much more weight and gravity than just a strong vasana and I got to experience that in the days that followed the reading.
Why I discuss it here is because we all have core issues and they’re coming to the surface at this time to be released. As a communicator, I’m looking at mine to assist you, if it does, to look at yours.
After the reading, I went through an extended period of wrestling with my core issue and seeing that it really was something, just as he said, that I’d rather die than face.
My mission and promise to the Mother is that I’ll serve as a communicator between the Company of Heaven and the public and that I won’t fail her in that mission.
The way AAM described it was: “Your true agreement, all of you [on the team], with the Mother is that, ‘I will do it no matter what.’”
He added: If I faced “not completing what you feel and know is your mission … then you would certainly rather die.” (1)
Neither he nor I believe in death. If I chose to die, he said, “you know that I would lift you up very rapidly and take you home, joyously.” Therefore “the dying piece is neither here nor there.” (2) He had just called me on all my complaining.
The first thing I saw was that our core issues as lightworkers are the same as our basic agreements as lightworkers. Let me explain.
My core issue and my basic agreement are both that I would not fail the Mother as a communicator. They’re the same and perhaps that’s what makes the situation so confusing and difficult to deal with.
What we do with our basic agreement that turns it into a core issue is that we take it to the nth degree and become focused on any matter relating to it that threatens it. We invest our promise to complete our mission with drama and significance that only belongs to us, not (in this case) to the Divine Mother.
The Mother will accept any service from us gladly and with full love and appreciation.
The Divine Mother is not a dictator who requires us to succeed or fall on our sword. It’s we who put that valence on things and in doing so we gum up the works.
Archangel Michael asked me in the reading if I were willing to let the matter go as an issue and hold it instead as a promise that I said I would keep, but without the dire consequences for failure that I’ve generated with my 3d mind and ego.
In other words, would I reduce the drama that I was generating around it, bring it within a reasonable range by balancing the scales (which topic I’ll return to in a later post), and then carry on fulfilling my promise but without disasterizing and feeling that more was at stake than really was?
Another matter I saw in the processing I did was that it isn’t wise to discuss our core issues very much. To explain why, I need to digress.
As a Sociology doctoral student, I studied the confidence or “con” artist and the con game.
A con artist will look for a good prospect (or “mark”) and then get to know them to find the one issue which, if “leaned” on, would have the mark give up whatever it was the con artist wanted – usually money.
The con artist sees this issue as the mark’s weakness, blind spot, or Achilles’ heel. If the con goes well, the mark is so humiliated at having been conned that he or she may not say anything to the police or anyone else about it, allowing the con to get off Scot free with their crime. End of digression.
Returning to the triggering of the core issue, I went about my daily business after the reading and was assessing everything I thought, said and did against the chances of it contributing to a failure in my mission.
And I found things in that area. In fact a few things I was doing at that time in my offstage life were not consistent with the success of my mission. I was being careless, not thinking ahead, etc.
Let me compare it to a TV personality who represents himself as a cultured and respectable gentleman, leaves the studio and immediately horks and spits on the street. Or throws his garbage out of his car window.
Those actions are not consistent with the way he’s representing himself. Either he needs to drop the claims (his mission) or make his offstage behavior consistent with his onstage persona. There needs to be congruency if he’s to be in integrity.
Suffice it to say that I became aware of things I was doing which would leave me wide open to humiliation, a con game, various circumstances which might lead to failure in my mission.
And I saw that I needed to tighten a few screws if I really intended to succeed in my service of the Mother. I needed to become conscious. That’s what processing my core issue showed me.
The interesting thing was that, when I saw the matters that were “out” – and this bore out what AAM was saying – I involuntarily felt a sense of horror and panic. I said to myself something along the order of: “How could you be so careless?” I saw in that moment that my mission really was a matter of life and death for me.
You may wish to consider what I say here if you volunteer to play a role of consequence or a role in the public arena.
Perhaps I should leave the matter here today and return to it later. But what I learned up to this point was that, if I really wanted to play the communication role I had promised the Mother I would, then I needed to tighten up my discrimination, discipline and integrity in every area of my life – onstage as well as offstage. That level of commitment comes with the territory.
I needed to wake up and realize the seriousness of my promise, but without becoming fear-stricken and dramatic. If I invested it with drama and anxiety, then I converted my basic agreement into a core issue.
We need to see to our basic agreements as lightworkers but without converting them into core issues.
(1) Archangel Michael through Linda Dillon in a reading with Kathleen and Steve, Aug. 1, 2014.
(2) Loc. cit.