I’m very interested in your post about sourcing the core issue that lies behind men subjugating women. Thank you for sharing this. I appreciate that you make yourself vulnerable by exposing truths about yourself, so this must be difficult for you. I applaud you for taking on this huge challenge in public and I’m grateful to you because it has made me explore this issue too.
Can I highlight a few points that may prompt you in a different direction so that you can consider this issue from another perspective? Often I’ve found with core issues and vasanas that sometimes they can be quite obtuse.
One thing you may wish to consider when pondering this issue is that men don’t only subjugate women; they subjugate other men, whatever their sexuality. We know how men in homosexual relationships are subjugated by men. That’s been made obvious to us, and men who are gentle, kind and loving but with girlfriends are called ‘NERDS’ (my favourite kind of man).
But we often overlook men subjugating other men. Men are expected to conform to the Neanderthal stereo type and any that don’t are often perceived as weak, or a failure to the male species. I believe this is part of the issue you are exploring.
It’s embedded right from the start. In the playground there’s already a need to prove manhood. Even before, it’s blue for boys, with guns or cars, and pink for girls, with dolls and dressing up. Any crossover or non-conformity of these stereotypes causes ridicule and criticism leading to a build-up of insecurity.
Where a boy or a man does not conform, or dares to stray off the prescriptive guidelines of what it is to be a “Man,” he will be made to feel an outsider, a reject, different, odd, a failure, lacking etc…. He’ll be isolated.
It’s a common joke for one man to call another a “big girl”, a “Nancy” or a “girls blouse,” etc. Men will often make threats against another’s manhood or masculinity by subjecting each other to dangerous or ridiculous challenges and initiations. It’s even common for men to compare penis size!
Men are perceived as weak if they express emotions through hugging or crying. They’re expected instead to punch or damage someone or something. Men are expected to be strong in all respects – physically, emotionally, and mentally. All of this contributes to a constant need to prove “manhood.”
This is how most (not all) men are brought up, where a caring, non-violent boy with a considerate nature attracts accusations against his sexuality.
Another aspect, which you may have already considered, is ‘conditioning’. As a child in a household where violence occured on several occasions, it may be that there is a level of ‘acceptance’ where this behaviour was thought to be the norm.
Frequent exposure to violence would lead to being desensitized; a kind of numbness occurs. This is an act of protection, self-preservation, for if one was allowed to feel what was really felt inside at the beginning (shock, outrage and horror) they would not be able to cope with the intensity within them.
So being desensitized, a level of acceptance has to occur, which then melds the violence into ‘normality’, which in turn dulls down the emotions so that they don’t feel the intense pain of shock, horror and outrage. After all, what else can a child do about that situation? They are powerless to change it or stop it. The only survival is to accept it.
Is this perhaps why you personally cannot feel that particular hatred, because you don’t have that level of emotion attached to the issue, through enforced acceptance?
Or maybe it’s not your own hatred you should be looking for, but a collective hatred?
Every child is born as a kind, loving, non-violent Being but through social pressure, nurture and example they are forced to become violent and competitive – all very much against their inner instincts. Every child ‘knows’ it is wrong but most are powerless to resist. There must be an inner conflict, or inner dislike, or inner hate at being made to become something so alien to their pure, loving core.
So, are you looking at the wrong type of hatred?
Maybe you may need to look wider if you want to get to the route source of violence against women?
Is it man’s hatred for women that you should seek? Or is it man’s hatred for man that should be considered … in order to discover the cause of violence against women?
Is the core issue ‘betrayal’? Man’s betrayal against the male species? A collective Self Love issue ?
Thank you, Steve, for taking the time to read this. Please excuse me if you feel I am teaching you to suck eggs. That is not my intention.
I am acutely aware that this ascension process didn’t come with an “Ascension for Dummies” manual and that we all need to pull together. I hope you accept my input with the intention it is sent with: that is with LOVE.