The learnings from this vasana of frustration continue to come and, because I’d like to give folks as clear an example of the contours, mechanics and process associated with vasanas, I’d like to discuss what arose after I sourced it. (1)
And I do know that it’s getting easier and easier to give our old business away. So this method of processing vasanas may become obsolete and that’s OK with me. Who wouldn’t want to see the end of the need to process? I’ll be looking at any new ways that arise as they come.
Once the vasana is sourced, one is left in a position of the centipede who just realized it had a hundred feet. It then began to trip over them. It couldn’t coordinate them from a point of view of awareness.
Likewise, here, with this vasana up to awareness, with it no longer going off like a three-alarm blaze, I’m able to see its workings . Insights now occur when a twinge of frustration arises in me, whereas before I was totally swept away by emotion. Sourcing the vasana doesn’t mean that frustration will never arise again. It means that it doesn’t bowl me over when it does.
At the same time, awareness allows processing, understanding and integration to continue and reduces the impact of the reaction pattern.
I felt a twinge of frustration over some passing matter today and watched to see what would happen. An image that came to mind of my father. If he got frustrated, he’d deal with his frustration by lashing out. This was the first time I’d seen or remembered this pattern in the context of frustration.
I feared my Dad’s frustration and gradually came (and we’re looking at the development of a vasana over time) to fear, hate and avoid the feeling of frustration in myself because of my memories associated with it.
What we fear, hate and avoid – or resist – persists and so frustration became for me a large emotional issue – something to avoid, something I would run from or spark in the face of, etc. I became my father around it and completed the generational transfer (because I’m quite sure, from all I remember of his father, that my grandfather responded this way as well).
It’s important for me to make the point that I sourced the vasana without seeing the original pattern from which it derived. This outcome is unusual in my recollection and I think what accounts for it is that the wall of emotion built up over the years surrounding the issue of frustration was so immense that it prevented me from seeing the earlier, similar incident that lay at its heart.
In this time of the Tsunami of Love, when so many vasanas are coming up to be cleared, I actually feel overwhelmed when I think of all the work there is these days. The Tsunami will likely wash away many of these vasanas. (Well, it is and this is in fact what’s happening.) But this is no doubt a time of clearing and it’s hard work ploughing through what comes up.
I’d like also to point out that I’m working this process myself. Whereas professional help has its place, and I don’t deny it, it’s also possible to work one’s way through these disruptive events by oneself. To demonstrate that is the purpose of me completing my vasana publicly.
Last note, if you’re assisting someone to source a vasana at this time, the best skill to use, in my opinion, is to listen. Allow them to lay the whole matter out on the table, to see the ins and outs, ups and downs of the vasana. What you’ll hear is a narrative and so the question to ask if you reach an impasse is: “And then?”
Once the person walks right through the matter in question, don’t stop there unless they do. Ask them how they feel about all it all, which should initiate the second pass, which is to tell the story, not from a factual, but from an emotional point of view.
When they finish that, if there’s still no release, then they’ll probably want to tell the story once more or you can ask to review it to cement understanding and see if there’s a layer underneath or a related vasana that has to be sourced first.
However, the minute release occurs, the minute the puzzle becomes a picture in an “Aha!” moment, that’s the time to stop. They got it. The truth will set them free.
In my estimation, listening, without judging and advising, is one of the most precious gifts that anyone can give.
(1) “Sourcing a Vasana with Awareness,” June 25, 2014, at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2014/06/25/sourcing-a-vasana-with-awareness/. “Finishing Up and Reviewing the Lessons,” June 26, 2014, at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2014/06/26/finishing-up-and-reviewing-the-lessons/.