One of the interesting things that emerged for me from yesterday’s Hour with an Angel (1) was trying to fathom where concern for certain events in the world, such as what’s happening in Syria, ended and a love of drama began.
While Archangel Michael was asking me not to get into the drama of matters like the global currency reset, I was saying to myself: well, there are matters where being concerned is something that I, as a lightworker, consider to be desirable. Where did concern leave off and a penchant for drama begin?
I need an operational way to discover whether what I’m feeling is going to yield beneficial results or, as Werner Erhard used to say, lead me down a tunnel with no cheese.
I stayed with the inquiry for most of that evening and it “popped” for me when I saw that the difference between concern and a love of drama was the difference between giving and manipulating so as to get.
Drama had an ulterior motive and that ulterior motive itself had to do with me wanting something for myself and trying to get it. Concern on the other hand did not have an ulterior motive and was not about what I could get out of the situation. It was born out of a desire to give – to give love, to support, or caring and compassion. The difference in motive was between service to others and service to self.
I could be concerned for the people of Syria. But my alleged concern for matters dealing with the reval could mask a desire to get; in that case, from the revaluation of currency.
The one saw caring and compassion arise in me and the other could see (not necessarily) what was ultimately more like greed.
There could be a case made that one could want to benefit from the reval to have money to give to other lightworkers. And if that’s genuinely the case, well and good.
But a lot of the drama that’s generated around circumstances like the reval is actually motivated, I think, by a desire to secure profit for oneself. And that desire is, to my way of thinking, the nursery of drama.
I don’t think a self-serving desire is found in most lightworkers. I think it’s more a feature of the thoughts and actions of people who are in fact simply seeking profit for themselves. By the time one wants to be a lightworker, a lot of the self-serving bias and penchant, I believe, will have dropped away. Otherwise one is not serving the light. One is only serving one’s own desires and ends. A lightworker, at a minimum for me, is serving more than self.
I could very well be wrong about this but it feels accurate. When I try on concern and love of drama, when I look at how I feel with the one and then the other, I can feel myself, when concerned, outflowing. When I try on a love of drama, i can feel myself seeking an inflow towards myself. I give something in the first; I seek something in the second.
If I’m right, then the way for me to discover in myself whether I’m yielding to concern or to a love of drama is to see if there’s something I’m seeking only for myself or if there’s something that I may seek in part for myself but mostly because I want to extend or give to another.
I’m going to be testing this insight out and, if it proves accurate, then the next time I won’t have to ask someone like Archangel Michael to help me sort this out. I’ll have an operational way to distinguish between the two myself. And since one element of the abundance program, in its beginning stages, appears to be to rely on us to send prosperity out from ourselves in concentric circles, a way of distinguishing between the two has value for me.
(1) Monday, Sept. 2, 2013