Most of us here may have gone through the vast bulk of our vasanas (our triggering issues which derive from past traumatic injuries).
But the vast majority of the populace may not have, by any means.
When something very decisive happens, like Disclosure, the acceptance of the truth of 9/11 or the arrest of prominent bankers and church officials, our vasanas may not be triggered. But those of the mass of the population may be.
People may go crazy. They may demand that the Illuminati be hung from a lamp post. They may want the military called out to protect them from ET.
And many of us will be in the front line, representing the Light. How do we “be with” another’s upset when we lightworkers hold the space for the large events to occur?
I’m not somehow posing as an expert, but these are thoughts that occur to me.
What most people want is to be heard. Listening becomes a skill of the highest importance.
Listening implies not interrupting, not judging, and not advising. It means actually “getting” or understanding what the other person is saying without taking a position on it. It means feeding back our understanding of what was said so that the other person gets that they’ve been listened to.
Many people don’t feel that they’ve been listened to, ever. They may have been heard but not listened to.
The extra step of listening over hearing is actually getting or understanding what was said. If one mirrors back what was said so that the other person gets that we got them, well, that’s a desirable bonus. A good, extensive listening will quiet down many people.
When people are angry, they usually don’t care for what we have to say. They care for what they have to say and they want to be heard and get their message across.
(2) Show Respect
Watch any drama about life in the poorer sections of town and, when push comes to shove, the issue becomes respect. “I want a little r-e-s-p-e-c-t.”
If we remember nothing else about how to defuse a situation we face, I think it best to remember that all anyone wants on the planet, at a minimum, is respect.
So respect the speaker. Listen respectfully. Reply respectfully.
(3) Listen Without Judgement
Watch an action drama on TV and eighty percent of it may be skill in overcoming your adversary (kicks, blocks, and punches) but twenty percent is that clever one-liner that the other has no comeback for. The most ubiquitous and the ultimate insult is that oh-so-common phrase, that you hear on city streets and everywhere else where conflict breaks out: “You effing @$$——-.”
It’s been culturally drummed into us that the ultimate in adversarial conflict is to put the other down with a clever retort to which there is no comeback. So weaning us from that kind of behavior may turn out to be a wee bit hard. But it’s what we need to do.
To come up with that clever retort, we have to be judging others. I’ve seen some people listen well, and then that savvy look creeps over their face; they cannot resist the clever retort; and the whole connection they may have labored so hard to build instantly falls apart. It’s seductive to want to be like Sly Stallone or Al Pacino or Jason Statham.
If we stay out of judgment, we have no ammunition for the side of ourselves that wants to be the alpha dog.
No, we won’t get the accolades of the admiring crowd. But we retain our ability to assist with bringing in peace. We retain the ability to help end the wars that have been going on for stretches of time we don’t even have words for – perhaps “eons” or “ages.” (Ever heard of the “intergalactic wars”? You might have. Many of us were there!)
That is what we’re here for: to end wars. To end the wars of nation against nation, race against race, religion against religion, class against class, and gender against gender. Respectful listening without judgment is the first step in dealing with an agitated and triggered speaker – and ending wars.
(4) Speak Using Neutral Language
Archangel Michael calls the language of diplomacy that was developed in the intergalactic wars Perro. I call it neutral language. It’s a must in the courtroom. The quickest way to have one’s legal decision overturned is to use charged language. That reveals a bias.
I put my speech through the car wash as soon as it emerges from my mind and before it hits my mouth. I speak in whatever terms I do and then an army of washers sets about translating charged terms into neutral terms.
Watch the one we’re speaking to. When their eyebrows go up, when their mouth narrows to an “O,” chances are we’ve used a charged word and they’re judging us. Either a negative or a positive charge will bring that kind of a response.
Neutral language is barely descriptive. It leans neither to the right or left. It has no valence. It does no violence.
It just describes an event or situation. It says what’s so and goes no further. If anything we say is going to be accepted in a situation that’s highly charged, it’ll be our neutral words.
(5) Avoid “You” in Preference to “I”
Our listeners are used to being schmoozed and greased by politicians so what I’m about to say may not work in an audience that may be deeply skeptical by now.
But using the “you” word automatically seems to prime the listener to expect fault or blame. I generally try to talk about myself – the way I see it, what something means to me, what I plan to do about it, etc. People take much less offense at me saying how it is for me than saying what I think about “you.”
(6) Avoid Telling Another What to Do
Telling another what to do is what every listener is watching for and causes the hackles to rise faster than anything else I can think of. I may say what I’m going to do, but I won’t say what another “should” do.
Of course if a boulder is racing down upon us, I may say that we need to move. But in any situation where choice is possible, I honor the other person’s right to choose.
Besides, we’re heading into an era in which the law of free will will soon be seen to be something we’ll all need to respect. We’ve been pretty cavalier with the free will of others but that will end at some point.
It’s a feature of a higher civilization, I think, that each member of it honors and respects another’s free will. If everyone observed that necessity, I think we wouldn’t be in the situation we’re in as a world at the present time.
(7) State the Status of Your Knowledge
Many fights begin with: “How do you know?” What the other is probably saying is: “You sound like you’re saying you know. I don’t believe you do. What is the status of your knowledge?”
I try to state the status of my knowledge right off the bat. It may not be that I know. Usually it isn’t. It may be that I heard the statement from someone else (hearsay). It may be that I feel the situation is this way. It may be that I intuit it, sense it, am guessing at it, am speculating on it.
Whatever the case may be, I state the status of my knowledge and that usually satisfies people and cuts down on the flame wars.
So in a sentence? Listen respectfully, completely, and without judgment and speak in neutral language, avoiding “you” statements, not telling another what to do, and stating the status of our knowledge