What a difficult time this is. One minute, I’m wracked with stress, the next, uplifted with love.
The stress comes from watching the vagaries of the financial markets. The coming of the reval will mean an easing of our situation here, but without it we’re bathed in stress.
And every day brings rumors that it’s happened and rumors that it hasn’t.
If it comes soon, this team will let out a collective cheer! If it doesn’t come soon, we’ll be about as stressed as anyone can imagine.
Financial issues bring up survival concerns in all of us like nothing else can. Soon it’ll be gone forever but not yet.
And one moment of stress is followed by a moment of bliss when I could fall on my knees like Walt Whitman and cry out my love for the Divine Mother, the celestials, and the masters! And without fail the love carries the stress away for a time. (Is that why I’m experiencing it, Boss? Is this you taking the stress away?)
As an awareness writer, I don’t get to hide when I feel stressed. I hid out for a day and then I said to myself, “This will not do. Stress is just another aspect of Ascension.”
Those who man other stations can lay low, but there’s no lying low when you do this kind of writing. It’s part of the job to describe the stress. Others may call it maudlin, but I know it’s in alignment with my mission.
So here I am one minute stressed, one minute ecstatic, one minute empty of thoughts, the next minute racing for the computer. Here I am in the lobby of a supermarket, can’t wait to get home, can’t even wait to get on the bus. Have to let the frozen goods thaw and write before I explode!
A part of the growth that’s happening is coming about because I’m going through my past readings with AAM and the Arcturians and taking out anything that can help me in the time ahead.
And they’re speaking of a challenging role, so challenging its scares the daylights out of me, and they’re telling me about my past lives and shenanigans on other planets. And, just as they were trying to do so hard some months back, it is in fact waking me up.
While on the bus, I found myself sitting in a certain posture and knew I had sat like that millennia ago in a forest camp. I knew it. I saw it.
Another moment I noticed that I was sitting exactly the way I did in the meditation workshop, more than a year ago – regally. Something wants to come out. I know it does.
I listened to the interview with Laura Eisenhower and Dr. Dream quite by accident the other day. I pressed the wrong button on my iPhone, which took me there. I hadn’t listened to the interview ever before and I was blown away.
Holy mackerel, I have learned something in all these years. Maybe not elegantly done but a complete overview. And seeing that in a flash woke me up some more.
This “me” in here that’s struggling to be known is forcing itself awake, rising to the surface and presenting itself. I’m about as close to laughter and tears, all at the same time, as a pregnant mother.
It’s a difficult and noisy birth but birth it will, amid hardship, amid bliss. And I don’t care if it fits with the timing of celestial events. When it’s time, it’s time: Here I come!