I had a situation arise recently that clearly showed me how I was at a crossroads between the old Third and the new Fourth.
I’ve had glimpses of the higher states but I’m very much used to Third-Dimensional life, habits, attractions, etc. It’s as if the old Third is my fallback or default and I sometimes find myself casting a backward glance at it.
I was having lunch with a friend I hadn’t seen in quite a while. When I canvassed myself for my news, I was surprised to see two “selves” present themselves to share.
All of this went on below conscious awareness. Had I not been observant, I might have missed it. I certainly might have had trouble making the distinction between “two” selves. I’d probably have felt simply out of sorts, like some part of me was bothered.
The first self was the emergent (probably) Fourth-Dimensional self that I feel quite a bit these days. That self is joyful, optimistic, even blissful at times. For it, nothing’s wrong. There are no situations that cannot be managed as long as I remain centered.
The other is my 3D self, the constructed self, complete with wounded child, demanding parent, vasanas, history, zero-sum attitudes, you name it.
I saw the old me wanting to chime in and, if it had, I knew that it planned to bemoan a lot of things and speak along the lines laid down by very limited and limiting thoughts, a looking for what’s out, a groaning about everything that’s incomplete, etc.
I could have given voice to either self; they both competed for attention.
At first I didn’t know what was happening, but I very quickly cottoned on. So I declined to give voice to my 3D self, but I did observe it.
Let me describe a few things about it.
It sees itself very much as powerless, always responding, seldom initiating. It sees itself as a victim, forlorn, buffeted by the winds, tossed hither and yon by circumstances, just getting by, etc.
I’m pretty sure it knows I’m leaving it behind and so it projects onto me feelings of loneliness and anxiety. The loneliness stops me in my tracks and the anxiety has me withdraw into myself. Those are pretty convincing strategies to have me not venture out of the old Third.
These feelings aren’t present in my emerging 4D self. It lives outside the constructed self and flows from one minute to the next. The minute I leave off focusing on my 3D self, these aberrant feelings subside and disappear. They reside in the constructed self, the facade of Third Dimensionality, not outside it.
It’s only years and years of habit, conditioning, addiction and familiar, rutted roads that find me looking back and wandering again into the bylanes of victimization and powerlessness.
When I respond to these upsetting feelings associated with 3D life, I devote a significant portion of my time to liaising with friends, buying things, planning trips, watching TV. I initiate a round of activities designed to keep me away from feeling myself, being in the space of love, sinking down into my center.
So I’m still at a place of jeopardy where I’ve seen the New World, so to speak, but still am liable to forsake it and fall back into the patterns of the old. My hunch is that the more I choose love, joy, bliss, and the higher sentiments and feelings, the less the tug on me will be of the old Third. But confirming that lies out in front of me.
I’m using every technique, every course of action that our sources have suggested to make the turn away from the old Third and into the new Fourth permanent. I predict that the call of the old will die down over time and perhaps die faster the more I consciously choose the latter.