More words are flowing out of me than I imagine readers would want to read. More description of this transitional space can be found in Journal of Transition from the Constructed Self to the Self-Outside-the-Box.
As you know, there are many ways of becoming realized. (1) I could sit down on a cushion and meditate. I could serve the Lord. I could sing Her Praises. These are all well-known paths.
But I think you know that mine is the awareness path and the result of following that path is emergence. (2)
Awareness, as I’ve said a few times, is not neutral. It’s a solvent, just as love is. Awareness dissolves the knots we tie ourselves up in. Awareness works quietly, unobtrusively to dissolve the constructed self.
It can be helped along by will. And that’s where standing forth comes in.
The incredible energies I’m feeling right now push me, prod me in the direction of standing forth as my Self. What the heck does that mean?
Well, it means everything and it means nothing. There’s no necessary doingness to standing forth. It’s just something one does nobody knows how, and, while it’s an act unto itself, it has no necessary evidence or acts that it leads to. (3) But it in itself is decisive, significant, important.
And right now I’m feeling the full force of it. Either I stand forth as my Self or I go and do something perfectly ridiculous, unnecessary, perhaps even harmful. Either I stand forth as my Self or I go pick a fight or I drink myself under the table or go out and buy a fancy kind of drug. You get where I’m going with this.
Standing forth as the Self is emergence. It’s a suitable path for writers and others who serve in a virtual realm, but still want to realize themselves. Emergence is necessary at some point in time whatever we do. We have to shake off this constructed self. We have to break out of our conditioned boxes. What the heck did we come here for if not for this?
I get the slightest feeling that I may be a whit ahead of the curve but then that’s what I signed up for (as did you). The more I hear information on my background, the more I get the picture.
And I also know that, unlike many lightworkers, I’m asked to straddle the borderline between the old Third and the new Fifth. That’s what being a gatekeeper entails.
Many lightworkers will pass on into the Fifth and do their work from there. I and other gatekeepers may have to man the gates and take whatever’s available to us.
But that doesn’t mean I can’t stand forth as the Self. I feel at this moment the energy coursing through me. I haven’t lost my senses. I haven’t lost my better judgment. I’m not manic depressive. This doesn’t result in a loss of balance. It’s just that I feel bigger, stronger, redolent with a cosmic “YES!” even if I become a little much for many people to take!
In fact the constructed self can be summed up in one word: No! The Self can be summed up in one word: YES!
I am here! I am cosmically here! And for everyone’s sake, I need to say it. As confusing as it is to not break through to the dimension I’d like to be, that doesn’t mean that I can’t fully occupy the space I’m assigned to.
OK, I’m gonna take this new model Me out for a walk and just smile at a thousand people and light up their hearts. No hiding this light under a bushel. But no getting myself in a dark and dingy place (loony bin? jail?) either.
(1) Keeping in mind that Self-Realization is the purpose of life. See “The Purpose of Life” at http://goldenageofgaia.com/spiritual-essays/16244-2/. And no, I am not at this moment realized. Never said I was.
(2) See “Emergence” at http://goldenageofgaia.com/spiritual-essays/emergence-2/
(3) I can say that I’ve achieved the state of “standing forth” on occasion by a mental act whose physical correlate is stamping the foot in determination. It’s as if I’m saying “no” to the self and “yes” to the Self.