For several days now I’ve been alternating between feeling cranky, blue and plain old flat. This is an uncharacteristic low for me and the feelings themselves bring on confusion as to why I’ve shifted.
Is it purely our interpretations of what messages we got that caused the disparity between what we felt would be so by now and what is so? Is it coincidental that we were encouraged to focus our collective attention on a peaceful passage through the 21st of December? Likely not.
My feeling is that the sources of channeled information know full well the innate power of humans to create with our thoughts. Up until recently, our creations have been fairly unconscious. Not to say it’s all been completely negative because we have been able to accomplish quite a lot that is good, true and beautiful.
We humans have shown ourselves to be resilient, resourceful and loving. We, at our very core, long to have all of us returned to our original blueprint of being totally repulsed by the idea of hurting another being in any way.
We needed to reach the point of the 2012 Winter Solstice in one piece, and before that apparently, there were a few different time lines that could have occurred. A great deal has happened that we aren’t told about, and I think it’s to protect us from what that information would do to us as a collective.
Our fears would have had a chance to bloom and grow, and that is precisely the last thing we need if we’re to evolve in accordance with the Divine Plan.
We really are as children in this unfolding and I’m discovering a level of discomfort with that, even as I write.
Who among us felt that they were in control as a kid? Not me. I’m accessing my inner Steve here and sourcing that vasana. I have no control here. Even though I’ve given all that I am over to the Light so very many times in meditation, this surrendering is a deep, core issue.
My faith was solid as a rock last week. I felt that my process around the delay was manageable and that I had enough of an understanding of it to keep doing my work with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.
Several days ago, though, it started getting to me that I’ve made some rather bold life decisions based on things being vastly different by now. I’m not discounting all the changes that have taken place in the world around me, they just aren’t as much of a change as I need to see. Primarily in the realm of money issues.
This is all unfolding in most unexpected ways. The changes are far subtler than I was thinking they would be, and even being sensitive to them has left me with a feeling of being used.
Yes, I said it!
My process has included a run through that scenario: Humans are given information through channeled sources offering a glimpse at what life will be like for us in higher dimensions. We embrace the ideas presented and start focusing our collective thoughts on these things, thereby bringing them to fruition that much sooner.
The question in my mind even now as I write is this: Are these beautiful ideas as a carrot dangled before us so we’ll feel highly motivated to do what’s necessary to create the Nova Earth for future generations? Will we not see the changes like not needing money or food, or being able to port to where we like with the power of our thoughts in our lifetimes?
That leads me to contemplation of the concept of time. One doesn’t have to be a sensitive to feel that time has been behaving rather unusually. To put it simply, it’s speeding up. But maybe time really will become a non-issue in the very near future. In higher dimensions, we’ve been told there is only NOW. Is that at the core of higher-dimensional beings not really getting that time still matters to us here on Earth?
We’re being asked to trust that information is kept from us for our own good, that delays are for our own good, that the kind of rapid change we desire is something that would blow our circuits, etc.
Back to being children…yikes! I don’t know about you, but childhood wasn’t that much fun for me. Enter the vasanas. Dang!
Well fine then. I’m clearing. That’s what this is about. I’m still clearing. Well, this is what it’s been like in life before. Wounding patterns show up to be healed. We do our personal work and carry on. Then something happens in our lives to bring that very same thing back into our faces and we holler out to the Universe, “Have I not dealt with this thing already?”
All of it has to go, every layer. I’m not sure how long this clearing process needs to take but it may be another reason why even light workers aren’t ready for 5D yet. Help! We need help. I’ve been asking for it sincerely throughout my crisis of faith, but without faith, who am I asking? The truth is that my heart won’t let me give up on myself or on God. It just isn’t in my wiring to do so.
We humans have learned to doubt and question everything though. At this point, the depth of lies and deceit and horror that’s been perpetrated within humanity is only just now bubbling to the surface. Can we take it? I think I want a sedative, frankly. The point is though that we have very good reason not to trust.
I took my -15ºF sleeping bag down from the attic last week, so I can still access the magic hammock in my back yard without the distraction of shivering. Yesterday in meditation, all snug in my Hollofil cocoon, I was gifted with some very helpful insights.
One of these is that I’m the one who created the feeling process that I’m currently undergoing. I actually wondered, from the previously rock-solid place of knowing, what it would be like to actually have doubt. I asked for the experience of knowing and not knowing at the same time, and it manifested more rapidly and tangibly than I ever thought possible.
This is brilliant information because to me, it represents the factual nature of how powerful our manifesting energies are right now. With this in mind, I’m able to have conscious awareness of my abilities to shape what happens in my world.
This is it! This is our chance to really show ourselves that we’re ready to create responsibly and with love. So let’s go ahead and practice, being sure to craft our intentions wisely.
We discover where “I” resides, and the truth is that there is only One of us, in myriad expressions. The expression that is me will direct the rest of the One to lay down arms and quit trying to gather all the toys for myself.
Our work in this regard is vital to the continued unfolding of the Divine Plan. It can’t happen without our cooperation and in my view, we’ve come way too far to give up now.
It’s becoming clear to me exactly what was meant when it was said that each of us would have a different experience of ascension. It’s a deeply personal transformation at core levels that we do alongside every single other human on the planet.
Funny how this issue of trust will continue to present until all of us reach a point of peace with it by whatever avenue. For me, the core of it feels to be exactly a falling away of what I thought was under me. I’m finding that my foundation is shifting and it’s been hard for me to embrace what’s real of my visions during these days of knowing and not knowing.
When the bottom falls out, that’s when we discover that we have wings. I’ll take a lesson from the fledgling birds that grace this world and trust that I have all I need to fly into the Nova Earth. I may tumble a bit as I reach my stride but there’ll be plenty of wind beneath my wings, always.
Writing it down has helped me to power through this process and gather more insight. I also wish to thank those readers who, for whatever reason sent in words of encouragement. Thanks as well to my fellow team members here who are some of the wisest and most loving people I’ve known.
Moving through this period of discomfort has shown me as well that this is what community is about. In my own home with just my daughter and me, we enjoy a wonderful synchronicity. When she’s in a tender state, I’m able to be the strong and solid one, and during the increasingly more frequent times when I’m in a state of vulnerability, she can really be a rock.
None of us has to go through this alone, and I think our work now is to gather together in ways that are more tangible in order to create the more tangible change that we long for. The time is ripe, and we’re growing ourselves through the experience of uncertainty. We’re the first ones doing this, so of course it’s going to be challenging. Let’s do it together, with heart.
Love and Light…