I didn’t really know what to expect on December 21. I had heard and read about all kinds of possible experiences I might have, but ultimately felt that the Ascension experience was going to be different for everyone and that no one really knew what was going to happen. So I approached it with an open mind.
This date – a date which has been identified by many for years to be the date to mark the beginning of the New Age – has been a significant date for me and I certainly approached it with much anticipation. I’ve talked about it on our radio programs, on this blog, at the Sedona conferences, with friends and family – anyone who would listen.
It came and went just like most days.
On the 23rd I went into a bit of a downward spiral. Like many of you, I have so looked forward to this time and have put a great deal of energy and effort to raise awareness about Ascension, the New Age and what’s to come at a fair amount of risk and isolation. I found myself in the throws of worry and fear: “Is none of this happening?!” “Have I been duped?” “Has all our work been a waste of time?”
I got this sickening feeling of packing it all up and letting go of the dream that I’ve held so close to my heart: the dream of a planet where love and peace is the predominant theme, where the planet and all beings on her have healed and thrive, where we all have the resources and freedom to fully shine our light and joy, where we have realized a high state of unity consciousness as well as a deeper connection with our larger star family…the list goes on.
I woke up yesterday morning, Christmas Eve, feeling miserable. I felt exhausted and stressed. I had this vision of going back to some humdrum job, slaving away again at trying to make ends meet and feeling the weight of all the ills of the world and the knowledge that we have so far to go to be the evolved, healthy planet I’ve known we can be.
But then a not-so-little voice erupted deep from within and said “Wait! Stop!! Hold onto the dream!! You are creating your reality Graham!”
Oh my God, that’s right. In that place of feeling such sadness and fear, I lost my connection to my power and to my dream. Remembering that we are powerful beings, that we do create our realities, and that we bring about what we think about, I stopped the tape I was playing and said. “No!” This is too important to let go of. Don’t give up.” I started to put myself in a place of gratitude and reconnected to all the blessings I have in my life: a roof over my head, food in the cupboard, beautiful people in my life, my son, my heart … and I fell asleep.
After a very long rest, I woke up with bright afternoon sunlight streaming through the windows. I soaked in it. I spoke with a dear friend who also had just gone through her own downward spiral, but was able to climb out of it and reconnect to her joy. Talking with her was great medicine. I felt the joy, the excitement and the dream filled up in me again.
The image that came to me while talking to my friend was the lotus flower, which is anchored to the mud below the water’s surface. I was the lotus and I was on the heels of being tossed about in turbulent waters losing my orientation and focus. I didn’t know how to pull myself out.
I was caught in a current of confusion and illusion and yet, gradually, I was able to pull myself and my vibrations up, and with the help of my friend, reconnect to the joy and the love. It was a short, yet intense period of wallowing in the mud and muck of lower vibrational emotions and fear, and I was grateful to come out of it with my heart fully open.
I don’t know exactly how this Ascension process is to unfold. But I do know it’s happening. I know that not from what any channel or colleague has told me, or what I’ve read or heard about from other sources. I know it because I feel it in my heart. If I need proof that it is happening, I look to my own life and how it has blossomed in such wonderful ways.
As a theme, I feel more love and joy in my heart than I’ve felt in years. I am surrounded by such beautiful souls whom I love deeply and together we are embodying the elements of unity consciousness I’ve envisioned for the world. My body feels better than when I was twenty years old. My intuitive abilities have grown tremendously and when I’ve acted on my gut and moments of inspiration, wonderful things have happened.
I feel a sense of connection, synchronicity and magic that I don’t remember ever experiencing in this lifetime. My abilities to manifest my deepest desires have unfolded in wonderful and powerful ways. I’m doing work in service to others that feels directly aligned with my dharma – my mission, and I experience tremendous fulfillment from it.
I feel a peace and calm in my heart that I’ve never experienced on this life journey. I no longer have an interest to engage in drama and conflict. I feel a deeper and expanded love for the planet and all beings on her.
So while December 21 didn’t bring about some of the desires that I was anticipating and admittedly hoping for, when I think about how I feel and where I’m at, I can say with great confidence and joy that while I may not be fully there yet, I am experiencing the higher dimensional qualities we’ve been talking about right along and I know I am Ascending.
I know it’s happening for the planet and will continue.
Last night, Christmas Eve, I attended a Unitarian church service. I was so moved by the quality of the music and the messages. There were many references to the light and carrying it out to help the planet. I love singing carols and delighted in joining with others in such songs as “Joy to the World” as well as “Silent Night,” which we all sang holding lit candles. At the end we held them over our heads in silence and unity – beautiful.
When I got home, the moon was out with the largest ring around it I’ve ever seen. There was one very bright star within the ring and it only occurs to me now the power and significance of what I saw:
We are souls living a human experience. We’ve “separated” voluntarily from source to experience in physicality, but now we are uniting with source once again. Last night the moon for me was source. The star embodied the individual soul. The ring symbolized reunion and within the ring, unity consciousness.
And on the snow all around me were millions of little sparkles of light in the moonlight. It was a powerful moment of interconnectedness with everything – and it was good.
The love builds and the dream remains.