Why would that be? Because of the nature of a vasana. A vanasa is an archaic habit pattern anchored in traumatic events of the past but triggered in the present by something that looks somehow similar. (1)
The nature of vasanas is such that one cannot “source” a vasana (that is, get to the bottom of it) unless it’s already been triggered. That’s why vasanas are often called “sleeping volcanoes.”
Until they go off, they’re quiet and once they go off they’re anything but quiet. But unless they go off they’re not available to be sourced. For me they’re the chief mischief makers in life.
Be that as it may, a major vasana went off in the incident. I could moan and groan but instead I celebrate because now I have the opportunity to source one more troublesome exploding volcano.
And I source my vasanas publicly in case doing so helps anyone else in the same situation. Different vasana, pretty similar approach. Our vasanas are what trip us up, because usually what we do with them is blame them on present company instead of sourcing them, when they seldom involve present company.
So the first thing I do is name the feeling I’m feeling – in order to get real specific and help me in the next step of the journey. So the predominant feeling I’m experiencing I would call “stress.” I feel stressed from this attack.
I take a look at that and soften it up a bit by asking myself why I feel stressed, in the event that asking may yield some useful information.
And I notice that I feel I have less and less manouvering room as the role I’m asked to play expands. It’s getting to be that the major contribution I can make to things is no longer what I contribute per se, but the restraint I show; in other words, what I don’t contribute.
None of us has probably considered ahead of time what we may be called upon to do by having agreed to serve as lightworkers. I certainly did not plan for what has happened over the years. Much of what has developed is new to me.
Now just by having said that I notice my stress level went down by, I would say, 20%.
Last night I wrote an article saying that the truth will set us free. (2) So here is a demonstration. The statement I just made was true and how do I know that? Because I feel some relief and release from having stated it. So by the onset of release I know I’m on the right track.
Now I ask myself to send myself an image of an earlier time that this vasana traces to and the image I get is of me in a yellow home-knit sweater standing on a stage near a microphone. (It’s important to go with the first image the mind throws up.)
I know my Mom knit that home-knit sweater so I also know this was in my last year of high school.
I’m student president and presiding at a school assembly. Not sure what the business is but the high school Big Block Club (a men’s service club) has just wired my seat so that when I sat down on it I experienced a huge shock.
Why did they do that? Because we’d just confronted each other. I challenged them on something and now they had electrified my chair.
And I knew that a lot depended on my allowing them to have their turn but it was a moment of high stress for me. Literally and figuratively.
And now I see this current attack by people who occupy a similar position in lightwork as this men’s service club did in high school. The similarity of position and the similarity of feeling attacked connect the two situations. Hence the triggering of this particular vasana.
Seeing the roots of this vasana causes the stress reaction to go down to 50% of what it was.
Now the rest of the work begins. In my mind, I go back to the original incident and allow it to play out in my field of experience. I re-experience every element of it – the confrontation with the Big Block Club knowing full well that I was about to lose every ounce of influence I had with them, then the shock of sitting in an electrified chair at a school assembly, and then the aftermath.
I allow all the sensations to play out in my field of experience, not rushing anything. I give the experience as much time as it needs, more time, more time, until all the charge has gone out of me. I’m now complete with the incident, whereas years ago I refused to complete with it.
When it has completed itself, I know I’ve run through the vasana once without projecting it onto others and thereby simply recharging its force. Instead of recharging it, I’ve bled some of the charge off it. (I may need to run through it again.)
I’m now “restored to self” and able to carry on as if nothing had happened. Mission completed.
I think it a cause for celebration that this attack occurred. How else would I have been able to uproot this tendency to experience stress when under attack? I believe I couldn’t have gotten out from under it unless I went through the fiery furnace of allowing these most unpleasant conditions and feelings to play upon my consciousness freely until complete.
OK, that’s it on that and time for whatever is next….
(1) On the nature and handling of vasanas, see “On Processing Vasanas,” at http://goldenageofgaia.com/ascension/on-processing-vasanas/
(2) “The Truth will Set you Free,” at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2012/10/the-truth-will-set-you-free/