I’ve only formally channeled twice that I’m aware of – in the Declaration of Human Freedom and the Declaration of World Peace. But at the same time I’ve also been told that there is a group on the other side that channels through me regularly.
I sense this is true because I’ve watched myself at times when no energy was pulsing through me and at those times I can’t write a word. What that says to me is that without my “muse,” I can write nothing. (When I used the word “muse” with AAM, he laughed, and now he uses it back at me with a chuckle in his voice – not sure what that means.)
I’ve come to accept that I’m just an instrument. Fortunately I don’t feel the need to be anything else; an instrument is really all I wish to be. But I also don’t kid myself that the inspiration, the words, or the energy is somehow mine.
I do know that I was told back around 1975, when I sat in a psychic development circle, that my special gift would be what the medium called “inspired address.” She said I would be heavily into philosophy. And so it has come to be.
I’m never aware of anything about the entities who send their words through my pen. But, on the two occasions when Archangel Michael used my hands (as he said he would), I was definitely aware of that process.
The first time it happened, by arrangement (I asked him) was on the Declaration of Human Freedom, I remember myself saying at times in the writing of it, “Hey, I should be writing this” and taking control of the pen. What I wrote then was substandard and I later went back and removed all the parts I wrote and allowed him to suggest alternatives.
This time I was very much more “out of the way,” although I also heard myself doubting that this was really happening, but not so much doubt as might stop the process. Just slow it down a bit. I didn’t want to push the point that far. Whatever was happening, I was enjoying it.
It’s very hard to convince oneself that one is in fact not doing the writing. Doubt is a constant companion. I have a reading with AAM on Oct. 10 and I’ll seek his counsel on whether he wrote that piece, how much of it he wrote, how he writes through another, etc. But no matter what he tells me, I fear (more doubt) that I may not fully understand how this process of channeling works until after the shift.
Now I have a curious relationship to the two pieces produced. They aren’t mine. I’m proud of being associated with them but I didn’t create them. I’m not sure exactly how to characterize my role. I’m not sure what a channel does and does not do. I could be glib and make a few general statements but that isn’t like certain knowledge. It would all be guesswork.
It’s just one more mystery that I probably won’t know very much about until after we make the leap.
If there isn’t a shift, and I don’t have very much belief that there won’t be, but if there weren’t, I have to say I’ve had the time of my life, grown in every which way. I’ve been challenged like nothing else before and perhaps nothing else ever again.
I would not trade a minute of it for anything. And I probably would keep going on my own no matter what succeeded or failed. There’s something about what we’re doing right now that’s so right, whether it be service, cultivating the divine qualities, dropping judgments and baggage, or whatever else it might be.
Even if 50,000 angels turn out to be wrong, this experience has been so right.
And that does come from me. Deep within the heart of me.