I just wrote an article on shares and sharing and it occurs to me that I can also model a share by sharing myself.
So this is my share.
I’ve just had a conversation with a number of other people on another project. And for the second time in as many days, I felt moved to declare myself in the matter of projects.
What I know about myself, and what I was surprised to learn was the same for the other people on the call, was that I have no discernible personal agenda any more. I’m not doing this for fame or fortune. I’m not seeking anything that I’m aware of, save spiritual reward and serving Spirit.
I do value my independence and I’ve been strongly advised by the folks upstairs to remain without ties so as to do my job. But above and beyond that, my life down here, if I may be permitted to speak that way, is complete.
I’ve actually had an experience denied to many people of having tested out what I say here. Many. many years ago, when I was a young man, I had the experience of being offered what was then dazzling wealth if I would sell my values out and I turned the offer down.
That same experience has been repeated in later life a number of times. I’ve walked away from Ph.D programs, jobs, and relationships when values were at stake. I know very well the bliss that comes from remaining true to one’s values.
But there will be people who say I’m puffing myself or bragging, etc. That isn’t my intent. My intent is to be transparent. And my intent is to stand on my values.
What do I value? I value emerging as the unencumbered Self that I am, sans window dressing. I value having no secrets of my own, though I may protect the secrets of others. Sometimes others shy away from me or make me sign non-disclosure agreements because they worry about my desire to be transparent. I can live with that. I have no intention of sharing another’s secrets. I merely want as few as possible of my own.
My career path is not now and never has been about having access to insider secrets for a feeling of self-importance or being at the center of things.
I don’t want to be at the center of things. I want to be at my center. And sometimes the two just don’t line up, no matter how we try to shoehorn things. My center is the place of worth; “the center of things” is a mirage. Remember what Emerson said? Wherever Macdonald sits, there is the head of the table. That saying describes the value of integrity and where integrity leads interests me.
My life is a workshop. There isn’t any circumstance of it – bad or good – that doesn’t hold immense interest for me. The peaks and troughs, a feeling’s rise and fall, the goings out and the comings in all result in learning. I want not to miss a minute of my life to unconsciousness.
Very soon all of us will be living in total consciousness from now till forever so I only have a few more months of wearing this veil. But so long as I do, I want to live consciously the life of living beneath a veil. What the costs are, the limitations, and the skewing effect on life – I want to observe it all.
And I wouldn’t be at all surprised to find that when we’re in Fifth Dimensionality, I’ll be living on the personal edge of that, pressing into Sixth Dimensionality and into Seventh. Something beckons me. An itch I can’t scratch. And I assume that by standing here as the unwavering observer, watching all of life consciously, I’ll emerge into that. And into where that leads. And into where that leads as well.
Bliss, bliss and more bliss. That’s where the trail leads. Onward into the overwhelming and ineradicable bliss of divinity. Destination known. Means of getting there, utterly open and unknown to me.