Several readers have written in asking if I’m OK and observing that I sound weighty these days. One even wrote in and said that I seemed to have an agenda of control and took sentences from various articles to substantiate the allegation. I enjoyed reading that particular argument.
But I think what it indicates is that it’s time to share.
You remember John Enright’s excellent article on “How to Read a Live Audience’s Cues”? (1) In that article, John said:
“If you’re allowing competing intentions to guide your actions, without raising them to your audience, the listeners may respond with irritation or hostility. The slow asking of a question when you are feeling rushed but haven’t expressed it may be designed to force you to share with the audience what’s going on. The angry response from someone who feels manipulated may signal to you that you are asking the audience to do something implicitly, without having laid out that what it is you want done, why or how.
“For example, you may ask the audience to engage in an exercise and stress that it must be done in a certain way which is inconvenient and for which there is no discernible reason situationally. The audience becomes angry until you tell them that you want to use the data in your thesis and for that reason need it in the form you specified: using the data in your thesis is a competing intention here. Raise your extra considerations (or competing intentions) to the audience, and the hostility, if it exists because of them, will likely disappear.”
I have a competing agenda and it sounds like it’s showing. I need to be transparent about it – or at least about as much of it as I can share. Most of it I can’t share. Most of it is secret or confidential.
Archangel Michael has asked me to oversee integrity on other projects outside the 2012 Scenario. And I am at the moment dealing with thorny issues.
Having spent eight years as a refugee adjudicator making decisions that carried weight and significance for people fleeing torture, abuse, etc., I recognize the energy. It’s the same sober, serious energy I felt then, as if I need to keep my eye on the ball or I may get matters wrong and cause harm and damage, either now or down the line.
It isn’t a vasana and so it doesn’t yield to processing. It’s just that I need to remain focused and aware.
I could either cease writing as long as I’m in this space, write from this space itself (which is partly what I’ve been doing), or just tell you what’s up and let the chips fall where they may.
The other side of things is that it just gets busier and busier, and I’m feeling the fatigue. But you’ve heard all that before. So, yes, there’s a tone of weightiness in my writing at the moment. And the competing agenda is that I’m absorbed with matters related to the service of other projects.
(1) “John Enright: How to Read a Live Audience’s Cues,” at http://goldenageofgaia.com/spiritual-essays/the-path-of-awareness/john-enright-how-to-read-a-live-audiences-cues/