And of course anyone who has followed that program since its inception may recall that I’m among those who called for visible signs. In perhaps the second program I risked my eternal soul by very sternly telling the Boss that we had waited long enough and wanted some visible signs.
But he’s undoubtedly talking about others this time. And his memorable reply was that the visible signs are in our heart. And I have to agree with him because a most wondrous process is happening for me – and perhaps for you as well. I feel such buoyancy within my heart that my clamor for much else has died right down.
Words are so imprecise. Can I tell you for sure that this buoyancy is happening within my heart? No, I can’t. It’s happening within the center of me. That may be the heart; it may not. And why call it “buoyancy”? Well, I don’t know what else to call it. I feel like a buoy bouncing on the surface of the ocean. I no longer go down into depression or any of the lower feelings. I feel elated, fulfilled, and in the face of this substantial feeling of OKness, I really don’t want much else.
So this visible sign of change, progress, evolution is really all I wanted. It’s the reason why I wanted the other visible signs – to give me hope that this condition would arise. And it is arising. Probably just like clockwork.
Of course I’m putting my best foot forward, as we say, and describing my “good hair days.” I can get rattled as I proved not long ago. But just as peace is the default for all of life, so I suspect that this buoyancy is the default for individual life. I suspect that I would return to it after I go through my temporary bouts of irritability and self-righteousness.
I’m much more able to serve from this space. I feel calm, balanced, harmonious and were these not the states of being that we were aiming for? I have a sense that all is working out. I have no more demands to make of life.
Like all starseeds, I know that I came here from a higher-than-Third-Dimensional home and will return to it after the job is done. So I have no clamorous doubts about personal Ascension. I have no clamorous doubts about anything really. And the only desire I have is to sink down deeper and deeper into the center, the heart of where I am at this moment.
I’ve probably told you a few times a story that Lao Tzu would tell, of a wise man who sat quietly at the side of the road, having brewed a weak-meat soup, which he provided freely to all who requested it. Across from him was a traveller’s way stop, a noodle stand, where steaming meat and copious noodles were dispensed to passing travellers for the going price.
Many, many people gathered there and the conversation was gay and animated. People traded gossip about what could be found a ways down the road. No one much noticed the silent man across the way and no one came for his weak-meat soup.
The wise man is the sage with non-dual knowledge.
And right now I feel a lot like that quiet old man. I’m not “wise.” I don’t have non-dual knowledge. But I also have nothing much of worldly value to offer. I only have a desire to freely give weak-meat soup, having lost the taste for gossip and chunks of beef and noodles.