A discussion-group member related the case of her daughter failing to receive any of her suggestions for reading or watching things on the subjects we discuss here and wanted to know what she might do in that case.
Same thing, XXX. Absolutely no difference from what I said earlier.
Look at the way you’re approaching it: “Nor can I get her to watch any videos or read any materials I would like her to look at. I wanted her to watch the segment from Through the Wormhole on near death experiences. No.”
In my books, the “worst” thing we can do is try to lead people to an awareness of what’s happening. The best thing we can do is listen.
Listen, listen, listen.
Their vasanas are surfacing. Their vasanas are running them. “I’m skeptical.” “No one’s going to sell me a rubber chicken.” “No one’s going to fool me.” Etc.
In the first place, they probably won’t respond to our trying to persuade them of anything they have trouble believing. They’ve perfected their defenses against being controlled even as we lightworkers have.
In the second place, they have a sense of pride in struggling to learn what they’ve learned, in doing all that research and reasoning things out, and they’ll be damned if they’re going to lose all that to our hare-brained ideas, which they probably think our lazy minds picked up while watching As the World Turns.
So you won’t “win.” The only “strategy,” so to speak, that will prevent you and your daughter having such a battle that she may leave you and “never” want to speak to you again is to listen to her.
I think you think this word “listen” to me is just an ordinary word. But to me “listening” is way, way more. Just imagine that “listening” was a golden orb, encrusted in jewels, wrapped in the finest gold-based, red, green and white gift paper. When I give it to someone they have the opportunity to use it to be released from all care and stress.
Listening is the finest gift I can give the depressed, the suicidal, the anxious, the care-worn. It restores. It releases. It reinvigorates. Everything that drags us down is let go of in the course of being communicated, heard, and seen to be heard. It’s the stuff of movies.
Heroine is about to jump off a cliff and someone listens to her and really gets what’s troubling her and suddenly her spirit breaks through and she has a rebirth of courage, commitment, and self-esteem.
Man is about to shoot himself because no one ever listened to him, no one ever understood him, and hero listens to him and gets his predicament, without judging, without advising, but just hearing him and getting what’s he’s going through. Man puts down the gun, weeping.
So you can bring me any number of “types” – sister, mother, daughter, co-worker – and tell me that you cannot “make them see the light” and I’ll reply the same thing. Stop telling them what to do and listen. Listen, listen, listen.
If you’re not listening, then you haven’t understood what I mean by “listening.” Because if you did, you’d know how powerful, releasing, and restorative it can be if done well.
Listen, feed back your understanding, make sure your understanding is correct – that’s that piece gotten. Now listen some more, mirror back, ensure you got it. Another piece gotten. Look at how the ears of the one we’re listening to have perked up.
Listen some more. At some point show that you have a stake in the game by sharing something (short) about yourself: reveal yourself a bit. And then let the person continue.
Don’t look at your watch. Don’t say you have an appointment to get away. Don’t be thinking to yourself how much you must do that day. Set all that aside and just listen.
Listen until the point where the person has an “Aha!” “Oh, that’s what happened with Father!” “Oh my God, I see it! I know why she left me! I know what I did! I must call her!” Upset gone. Now let them speedily depart to tell their spouse, partner, or parent what they’ve discovered. Boom, they’re out the door with almost not a single word more. Just let them go. Mission accomplished.
When ego wants to feel important by “helping” and “fixing,” put that impulse aside and return to mere, humble listening. Most people have no idea of the power of listening – none whatsoever. It may as well be Fifth-Dimensional Pleiadian Element 155 for what they know of it.
And, by the way, no one will know what you’ve done. They’ll feel great but they won’t know why they do or what you contributed. You will almost never get thanks but you will be loved. For some unknown reason, people will love you and want to be around you. But almost no one will be able to say why.
I don’t remember much of what my mother ever said. I couldn’t repeat a single thing. But she was much loved by everyone. Three successive school presidents came to her house to talk over difficult matters and none of them, I’ll wager, could say what she said either.
OK, I remember one thing she said: “I’ll put on a pot of coffee and we can talk about it.” I can remember the sound of that coffeepot percolating. She was adored by everyone, always invited over to people’s places. When she was poor, people would leave $50 bills under her pillow. ($50 in 1966 was a small fortune.) Some time last year I discovered from two sources that my Mom was a very high-dimensional being. I’m not surprised. And all she ever did was listen.
Discover listening. That’s what will have your daughter listen to you, XXX. Not tomorrow. Not next week. But soon. The other way – telling her what to read and watch – will eventually lose her to you.