(For Just Begin – I, see http://goldenageofgaia.com/2011/05/just-begin/ )
I’d like to post a discussion held elsewhere, with names and some terms changed, etc., because I think it’s something we all need to consider. I thank the original participants for tolerating me doing this for what I hope is the greater good. It is my mission to write.
There’s a much-deeper discussion to be had here that’s very difficult to have but extremely worthwhile. I consider that my own three years of researching and writing has purchased me a ticket that allows me to say this. I’m taking all the brownie points that I may have earned for all that effort and placing them right here on this square, risking all on a single bet. Winner take all.
When I have these kinds of conversations with people, one of two things happens: (1) They “get” it or (2) they’re hugely offended and tell me where I can stick it. I hope you fall into the former category.
When I began this particular phase of my own work three years ago, I had no idea what would come of it. Mrs. Beckow’s little boy was doing what he always did – researching a subject and writing about it. He did that in and out of school. He did that for work and play. He did that at university, at a museum, for companies, for newspapers, in a hearing room. He never stopped doing this one same thing.
Given readings that I’ve had, or readings that have been sent to me unsolicited, which I don’t talk about because to do so would only be supplying ammunition to detractors, I now see that there are far more complicated factors at play than I ever suspected. I had no idea what was happening all those years but now I’m being told what was happening and, on reflection, I’m not surprised. I can see the thread now.
Be that as it may, when I started out, it was just another day in Paradise and I was just doing what I loved, hoping the money would follow as would satisfaction, worth, etc.
In a sense I’ve been the last one to get what’s happening, judged from emails I receive. These emails so often say that this site and other projects associated with it have been hugely helpful, etc. But I’m just doing what I love and what I do. I had and have no intent to be hugely helpful. My only intent is to continue doing what I love and what I do. Do you follow my drift?
When I read your last email, what I hear is a very powerful individual who (1) seems to have very little idea of his power and (2) a person at work in a mission that he doesn’t see and doesn’t recognize as a mission. In fact, from the vantage point I now take, rather than the one I took a few years ago, I see a lot of myself in you.
You’re talking about the movement. You’re talking as a kind of observer. You’re talking about historical events. There is this kind of remove from things. Now here is where I lose people so you can stop here if you like and not read on.
What I don’t get, and I can understand why I don’t get it by simply looking at my own history, is an appreciation of (1) you, (2) your own mission, and (3) your own power.
At this point people often get mad at me and see “Take a leap” or “Buzz off.”
But I speak from my own experience. I didn’t get any of those things about myself and they are in fact only very slowly dawning on me at this moment. I like that they dawn slowly because the whole thing needs to be slowly assimilated or we veer off into arrogance. I don’t want to lose my balance. But I could very easily lose my balance in the face of some of the things that are being said to me, especially in readings. “Are you talking about me?”
There are people who blabber about these things. “I am this and I’m from this place and I did that in my past lives.” No way. These things should be hidden away, I think, and just the present moment seen to. All things are possible to one who doesn’t need to be “The One.”
But nevertheless I say that these three things that I mentioned a few paragraphs earlier are missing in your expression. If I’m at all accurate in what I say, I predict that they won’t be missing for long. Rather than speaking about events as if they’re “out there” and you’re watching them and play no role in impacting them, I predict that fairly soon you may be speaking as one who “owns” those events, knows he has the ability to impact them, and sees that he has been (unconsciously) at work for years building up to his time at bat.
Does any of what I just said make sense or ring true?
Now let me leave our discussion as a one-on-one and address others.
Folks, this is our time. Who is going to accomplish what lies ahead, if not us? If not you? This is your time to begin.
Begin what? Begin whatever it is you came to do. Perhaps Jim [not his real name] will find a new stance, paradigm, sentiment, value, wisdom, or approach appropriate to his group. Perhaps his emergence itself will be a metaphor for his chosen and affiliate group. Mine might be for my group (whatever that is. I’m Heinz 57). Yours might be for your group. That group might be ethnic, temporal, attitudinal, spiritual, scientific – it matters not. Now is your time to step out of smallness, isolation, felt inadequacy, and waiting.
(How miniscule “Disclosure” is compared to this piece of the work.)
When I say this, people seem to think that I mean that this is Sunday and by Monday you should be running for President. Or organizing flights to Andromeda. Or something else HUGE. No, I don’t mean that. I know that stepping out is often a slow process. That’s why it’s best to get started, even on something small. Begin the process. Commence. Just simply intend that your process and mission begin.
Nothing gets going until you start. Then, when you start, the process begins to slowly get underway and then picks up speed and finally snowballs.
What should you do? Well, I can tell you the general area of it. Precisely what you’ve been discussing over and over again here. You may just need a push to really get it and get into it. If for Jim it wasn’t in the area of XXX activism, I’d be surprised. I’m not as attached to the word “activism” as I am to the word “XXX,” in Jim’s case – why? Because he’s mentioned it several times. Isn’t that the giveaway? Some of you have been talking about ecology. Some about nutrition. Some about parenting or relationships. Some are focused on your country or your religion or your gender.
I talk a lot about truth and the purpose of life. My [male relative] wants me to talk about other things. But I’m not about other things. I know (KNOW, as in deep in my soul) I came here to talk about truth and the purpose of life. I might as well surrender to it. Why fight my own obvious mission?
It’s frustrating for me because having been through my own personal process, as far as I have been, I can hear you in yours. Sometimes I want to shake people as if that might have them wake up to the process, whereas one can only follow its steps one by one. But I feel frustrated. (The Boss told me I was impatient.)
I won’t shake you. Not even e-shake you. But I do invite you to trust the process that is occurring right now. You will emerge. You will take up your pre-chosen, pre-ordained task. You are already at work, just haltingly, unconsciously, doubting, doubling back. But the more coal you pour on the fire, the faster you’ll be really at work.
Step out. Commit. Risk. Just do it. Take a chance. Try playing big rather than small. Forget about your inner conversation about what a worthless a piece of excrement you are. Or a sinner. Or someone who never made good. Just leave it behind. It’s all just useless conditioning and unfinished business. It isn’t who you are.
OK, I’ll be happy if three people actually heard me and got me. That will make worthwhile the dozen letters I get telling me what an arrogant jerk I am.
But I see this process so clearly and I don’t know how to say it that others may see it also.
Just begin. Follow your bliss. Do what you love, only do it with high and committed intention. Or if not that, then higher and more committed intention day by day. But just begin.
And just keep following that bliss and that intention. Let it unpack itself, unwind. Let it draw you on.
Nuff said. Do you get a sense of what I’m talking about, Jim? If I’m not amiss in my estimation of you, I think you do, somewhere inside where the real “you” lives. Just pretend that you suddenly heard a voice saying “Jim!” And the minute it did, you sat up with a start and remembered….