How to Deal with Upset People as the Energies Rise

Some people are reporting that their spouses and friends are getting crankier, despondent, etc., rather than lighter in the face of the rising energies. This seems confusing and they are looking for what can be done about it. I wrote this note to one person in this position and repost it here.

The fact that the upsets are rising to the surface in your partner may not be a sign that he is “changing for the worse” or “going in the opposite direction.”  This could be his time to get free of certain old and leftover matters and energies.

I can’t pose as an expert on the subject. But my understanding is that it’s not so much a reverse effect as a kind of unpacking effect,

The rising energies appear to remove barriers to the feeling of emotional states, past upsets, and so on. People who have very little old baggage in the form of traumatic memories and unfinished business may simply have the experience of expanding in greater and greater love, joy, and peace. Well and good. No problem there.

But for people who have a large number of unprocessed traumatic memories that have been suppressed, these will be released from suppression or confinement and come to the surface. These people will be re-experiencing their upsets at this time, prior to these also being released. However, to re-experience an upset looks the same as having an upset. There is no real way to distinguish between the two.

So to repeat: the rising energies may be impacting your partner by causing the release of feelings and memories that have been long buried in the subconscious until now.

No, this is not “typical” behavior. It is also not permanent. But you’ll need to take a look within yourself and see what you wish to do about it. If you’re committed to him, you may want to see it through. If you’re not, you may not. The decision rests with you.

In my view, the very best approach to this kind of situation lies in a talent most of us have not developed very deeply or well and that is what I call “listening.” I say “what I call” because what most people do when they think they’re listening is not, in my view, listening at all. They advise, cajole, fix, remonstrate with – everything but pure listening. Listening liberates the other person. It can involve feedback but again what people regard as “feedback” is often very far away from what I intend by the word.

Pure feedback is mirroring the other person. “I see you as upset” “I hear you sounding despondent” “When you say that, what arises in me is concern.” But not feedback that is really manipulation in disguise or what we hope for the other person or what we’d like to see happen. That’s not feedback; that’s our agenda. Not usually helpful if what we intend to do is listen.  If we’re saying where we’re at, OK, fine. But it’s not listening.

The object of listening is to allow the person to speak and explore what is happening with them until they penetrate down through the layers and come to the original incident that’s driving them. When they see this, the truth sets them free. I’ve published numerous articles on the site, most recently “Clearing an Upset in the Moment” (, that illustrate how the process works.

I’ve listened to people for hours sometimes (the longest session being eight hours), which is what it takes sometimes for them to get at the core “Aha!” that’s driving them.  Seeing that “Aha!” will turn the puzzle into a picture. After that, I don’t go further. I allow them to be with their realization rather than driving them back into the upset with questions or discussion.

So I’m suggesting exploring with your partner in an extended listening session, perhaps for hours if need be, what’s behind his current upset feelings. When he finds it, he’ll experience release and you’ll know he has found it because of this very release he feels. The truth will have set him free from his upset.

I’m affected by the negative friends and relatives in my life as well. Some of them I’m staying away from as much as I can during this transitional period; others I listen to.  All will emerge from this state probably but it may be months for some so we may have our work cut out for us.

The best forum I found for raising and releasing unfinished business is a workshop called “Enlightenment Intensives.” But they are somewhat expensive ($700 for seven days; sometimes more) and they’re not for everybody. They were definitely for me and I invested a small fortune in them which is the gift that has kept on giving. I’m not upset-free but I have learned to be able to clear an upset. So no fish today perhaps, but I learned how to fish.

There is also a lot of discussion of the “upset clearing process” that I put together out of EIs, the est training, encounter groups, etc., to be found in the righthand column of the 2012S site under the heading “Preparing for Ascension.” You may wish to use the process yourself to clear the upsets you experience helping your spouse clear his or from being the brunt of his.

Discussion groups are in part designed to help see us through these times and matters so “share” your experience in here (without blaming, shaming, etc.).  The ultimate goal of sharing is “emergence,” standing forth as your truth, free from ignorance and suppression.

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