All the horns blaring on the street tonight and the people cheering say that Vancouver won the latest game in the Stanley Cup playoff. Truth be told, I did watch part of the game, neophyte that I am. But commenting on hockey is not my job.
It also isn’t part of my job, according to the Boss, to wander into the controversy expected to erupt after Disclosure over our space family’s identity, reasons for being here, etc. In my last reading with the Boss, he warned me against it:
Boss: “We are not asking you to be in the fray. It’s important that you understand. Because the fray is not where the truth will lie. So, yes, there will be controversy the same way there is controversy whenever there is something unique and new introduced into the realm of human conscious experience.
“But we don’t want you to be front and center in the controversy, in the fray. We want you to be that voice of reason, of balance, and of clarity.”
Steve; “OK, alright. That’s good to know. I notice that I assume the position you’re talking about anyways. I tend not to jump into the fray, pick up a lance and ride a horse, but rather to look at what’s happening and factors of credibility, etc.”
Boss: “That’s exactly why you’re chosen for this role. There are many, and I observe them as do many of us, who want to jump on that horse. And what happens when you’re doing that, not that there’s not need at times for defenders of various positions and rights, but often what it does is it creates is a continuity of the duality. It is a continuity of the old. And what is not what we’re co-creating with you. It’s a very different paradigm.” (1)
Well, I disobeyed his request last week and got what was coming to me. It was an object lesson.
I came across an article on Ashtar Command that looked to me like the Allies of Humanity had just extended their reach into that sathsang or company of truth. The article said that the galactics were here to rob us of our resources, enslave us, etc., etc. It said that higher-dimensional beings had no free will, operated like a mindless collective, and used telepathy to mind-control others. They didn’t care about us. They were here to invade the planet. And on and on it went.
Because the article used the language of the Allies, and advised us all to resist the galactics to the death, I freaked. I remembered the Boss’s advice, but got involved big-time in the fray anyways.
I became aggressive and suspicious, said things that were inaccurate, and attacked the writer. I lost my balance. It was a mess.
I took the post down a day later and thankfully it wasn’t reposted but by then the damage was done. The hapless writer, who must have felt as if Attila the Hun just grabbed her by the neck, reached down her throat and pulled out her appendix, left the Ashtar Command and I was left staring at the man in the mirror and wondering when I was going to get it.
I’ve said here before that, years and years ago, I was a pretty rowdy karate student, providing security to the dojo, taking down crooks on the street, and so on. I was told that I had a fearsome look that had other students keep their distance. I was definitely aggressive.
I thought I had that attitude under control, but evidently not. So I apologize to the young woman that I vaporized, though an apology probably may not do much to repair the damage.
It was a good lesson for me relative to the future. My job is no longer to charge in the lists, as much as a part of me enjoys it.
Leaving that aside, I move to a wider but related subject. Things are changing for me. Even a year or two ago, I could square off with the cabal and invite danger. But I sense all that is past as well. I even have to watch myself in my dealings with you. As the readership of this site increases (we’re now steadily at 22,000 hits a day, with peaks of 26,000, plus digest and Facebook readers), I’m noticing a phenomenon that I’m not used to but which I can’t see how I can ignore.
People are quoting me as if I’m an expert. I’m not an expert, you know. Really, really not. There really are no experts – I’m tempted to say in 3D – on the matters we discuss here, but, even if there were, I’m not one of them. I don’t even want to be one of them or to be considered one of them.
I want to know the truth, not to have a reputation. But, like it or not, I seem to have gotten one. And so, nowadays, I have to watch carefully what I say because I get repeated in places that I’ve never even heard of. That’s a responsibility which I can’t say I’m used to, even if it does go along with the turf.
So I’m now more cautious. More cautious in whom I allow to join me on the staff of this site. More cautious in what I say in my correspondence or in discussion groups. More cautious in what I say here. I even sidestep conflict, which I never used to do but now must.
It’s a process of growing up and I know I need to do it fast. (As do we all.) The Boss also said in that same interview:
Boss: “You’re also going to become more involved with your star brothers and sisters. … It’s important for you to be able to be [an] intermediary, [a] funnel for information that is accurate, clear, precise, and honest, because … there will … be a desire on the part of many human beings to have an unbiased view, a reliable source I think is your term, for what is truly going on, what the agendas are.”
So those are my marching orders and you have yours as well, whether they’ve been communicated to you in your waking state or not. You’re welcome to remind me of and hold me to them.
It calls on me to find within myself a degree of self-control which was not, earlier in life, my strongest suit. So if you see me becoming more cautious, more conservative, sidestepping the dramatic and the iffy, I suppose I’m practicing. I screwed up last week, but I learned from it. And I think I may look back on it often and remind myself of what it looks like when I go off the rails and how in future it’s important that I not go off the rails. Not glamorous. Not sexy. But necessary.
Our most mature performance is about to begin, not even the challenge of a lifetime, but the challenge of all our lifetimes. It’s an awesome responsibility, but it’s also why we came here and I’m up for it.
(1) Reading with the Boss through Linda Dillon, April 26, 2011.