As I said earlier, I firmly believe that we wouldn’t be enjoying 2012 blogs and discussion groups unless we were Starseeds.
What happened at the retreat is that I had an experience of the Starseed that I am. For an hour on the second day, I deepened into an experience of myself. I became for that hour a stranger in paradise. There’s no way I can prove that to you. Like all experiences of this kind, it’s verifiable only by me.
Let me explain in more detail what happened. I decided to give myself an autosuggestion to deepen as an experiment in the course of a long meditation. Surprisingly in response to it, I actually and palpably deepened. So I decided to do it again and I deepened again. I repeated the exercise until I felt I had gone as far into my depths as I could and then I stopped.
What I didn’t figure on was that I would then expand or rise to an equal height as the depth to which I had gone. What opened up was an incredible space in which another level of my personality emerged.
The quality of the experience was sublime. I sat there for perhaps an hour with my chest out and my chin up. I moved very, very slowly but had an incredible amount of energy.
Even though a majestic experience, it was still “blinkered” or muted. I was not allowed to feel the “emotional” quality that would, in my opinion, have gone along with the experience. Specifically there was no bliss attached to it and I can’t see how a full-blown experience of it would not have been blissful.
Based on that experience, I’d say that the day I move into that more natural state is the day I think I would leave the planet. It wasn’t that I sensed I would choose to leave the planet. It’s more that I would be drawn away as iron is drawn to a magnet.,
If I were to stay here in the state I experienced, I’d be unable to do the work I do, unable to write a single article. Instead of typing at 95 wpm, the speed I was last clocked at, I’d be lucky if I could write at five wpm. In that state for an hour, I mostly sat around doing nothing. The situation was much like what DL Zeta has described: “Seemingly magical abilities are commonplace at higher frequencies but paradoxically, a person at this frequency has little interest in them.” (1)
Given that and given that we’re here to do a job, I can now see why blinkers are necessary and I no longer feel like resisting them.
This was not an experience of enlightenment. Let me explain the difference between the two. Here is an experience of enlightenment, as Jan Ruusbroec describes it.
“In the abyss of this darkness in which the loving spirit has died to itself [i.e., the ego has died], God’s revelation and eternal life have their origin, for in this darkness an incomprehensible light is born and shines forth; this is the Son of God, in whom a person becomes able to see and to contemplate eternal life.” (2)
“It is Christ, the light of truth, who says, ‘See,’ and it is through him that we are able to see, for he is the light of the Father [“I am the way, the truth, and the life”], without which there is no light in heaven or on earth.” (3)
This Light is the Son of God, not Jesus the man. Jesus embodied it. He spoke for it. But the same Light he carried, we all carry. It was not an experience of that Light.
Moreover, an experience of enlightenment is discontinuous. One minute we’re here and the next minute we’re in the presence of, in this case, the Christ, the Son of God, also known as the Atman, the Self, the Buddha nature. And we have no idea how we covered the distance.
I did not have a discontinuous experience of the Son of God. I deepened into an experience of myself, the Starseed that I am. It was a continuous deepening. What I experienced was a higher-dimensional being. In my view, most of us Starseeds have come from higher dimensions. Otherwise, how could we help terrestrials with Ascension? Previously I sensed this was so but now I feel sure of it.
Having returned to my adopted 3D persona, I carry with me no knowledge of the verities of life. Please don’t ask me to explain to you the nature of God because I don’t think I’m permitted that knowledge as long as I wait tables at the banquet.
I assume I’ll be given limited knowledge on a need-to-know basis because that was the implication of something the Boss said recently. He said I would be speaking on spiritual truths. I asked him how that could that be since I know nothing about them at this moment. He replied that he would help me. I assume he means that, when I need it, I’ll have the knowledge fed to me, as you too will probably.
I asked the Boss why I had no recollection of life in a higher dimension, no sense of it, and he replied: “That was part of our agreement.”
The Boss said I’d be here for a one- to two-year assignment as a communicator. I assume that means that I’ll return to Arcturus when the job is done.
What that experience contributed to me was confidence and patience, which is what I asked the Boss for. I now have the confidence that comes from knowing my roots and the patience that comes from knowing that I’ll have the blinkers removed when I finish the job.
I’m no longer hankering for enlightenment because enlightenment for me would probably mean being unable to complete the work. I’m here to do the task at hand. I agreed to do it. The rest will take care of itself.
I had a second experience the next day in which the mind went totally quiet. It was like being in the “windless place” that the Bhagavad Gita talks about. It too lasted for about an hour.
Strangely enough I was able to open my eyes and it persisted. I was able to walk around and it persisted. Then when I went about normal business it blended into the background. My mind remains much quieter than it was and I do feel calmer, but I also still get sparky.
I see now that I have to avoid overwork and I see why. This body is just too heavy and fatiguing to carry around without adequate rest. I have to pay attention to its demands. If I ignore it, I won’t be successful at what I do. The Boss told me I’ve only been on Earth a total of eight times. I can imagine that I’m not used to wearing this rubber suit.
The 3D body is like a scuba suit. If we go down into the ocean (3D), we need to don it, as well as a tank of air, face mask, and flippers. It’s all very confining, but it’s what we need in the ocean.
Come up to land (a higher dimension) and we take the scuba suit off. We don’t go to bed with it, and our tank, face mask, and flippers. That would be silly. We’d never be comfortable enough to fall asleep. We remove them. But they must be worn in the ocean.
I and you are wearing scuba suits. And to any of us who are not used to it, it’s confining and tiring.
And, oh, by the way, all these illnesses that we have? I think they’re designed to do a certain work as well. In the workshop, the rash that I had flared up. I was driven mad by itching. Here I am in a workshop that’s emphasizing being equanimous with the sensations on the body and I’m anything but equanimous. I’m driving people around me nuts by scratching, scratching, scratching. (The rash left the minute I departed the workshop, by the way.)
What was the function of having that malady? Well, keep in mind that I did not need to do the Vipassana technique to have those two experiences and the workshop was of short duration. What would have happened if I actually did the Vipassana technique?
I suspect that I might have had an enlightenment experience, might have realized the Self in all its wonderment, and thereafter have lost all interest in being here. The rash kept my awareness at a surface level.
So the rash served to keep my attention “down to Earth,” so to speak. And I’ll bet your medical afflictions do too. I bet those of us who are sick are so because it serves a purpose in the work we’re here to do. Fibromyalgia keeps our awareness in the body and down to Earth. I know that sounds crazy, but I think it’s true.
Finally on the last day of the workshop, the fourth day, while we were all preparing to leave, I found my senses so heightened that I could not tolerate the talking of others. I developed vertigo, felt nauseous and had to make a hasty exit from the retreat center. This condition too lifted after perhaps two or three hours. Again this 3D frame has limits and I have to take care of it.
So that’s it. An interlude. A glimpse of another world, subsequently taken back and locked up in the treasure box until the job is done. But it has settled me down, reassured me, and induced me to turn my attention to the work that needs doing and leave off worrying about all the rest. When it happens for you, I imagine it’ll have the same effect.
And so … back to work, waiting tables at the banquet, serving the Bridegroom.
(1) DL Zeta, “Understanding Vibrational Levels and Dimensional Shifts.” June 3, 2011, at http://www.celestialvision.org/journal/ .
(2) John Ruusbroec in James A. Wiseman, John Ruusbroec. The Spiritual Espousals and Other Works. New York, etc.: Paulist Press, 1985, 147.
(3) Ibid., 74.