Well, I don’t know about you but I find myself going up and down like a yo-yo. At one moment I’m enraged to hear from Matthew that the Japanese earthquake is an “unconscionable act” of the cabal with “chaos, destruction and high death toll.” (Matthew’s Message, March 12, 2011.) I want to defend the people of Japan and see that no other instances of weather warfare occur.
Then I read a raft of other messages saying that we should go inward, maintain our inner peace, and pay no attention to outer events.
SaLuSa says one day that chaos may continue for months and the next day that we are in the final push.
Added to this confusing mass of evidence is the tug of war of discussion that all of us are involved in as lightworkers, where some are saying declare war on Governor Walker and others are saying, what are you getting excited about? Some say, fight the New World Order, and others say, I don’t want to think about negative things any more.
Some people are writing me and saying, Talk less about HAARP. Others are saying, You’re not looking deeply enough at HAARP.
I feel like a push-pull toy.
It’s a maximally confusing, confronting, and difficult time.
All I feel I can do is to observe the inner flux and experience each emotion as it arises. To choose a side between competing voices seems like falling into a trap. I remember my friend Chris saying many years ago that he holds both sides of any question in his mind, always, and that approach now seems what’s required.
Each time I feel a tug to declare for one side or the other – the stern demands of confrontation or the siren call of inner tranquility – the only thing I can do to prevent a schism within myself is to treat them as a serial sequence of emotional states to be experienced as long as each is present and then let go of.
Meanwhile I’m telling myself that all this fluctuation is great. As more and more issues occur, some natural, some manmade, some freeing, some confining, I find myself needing to get bigger and bigger to hold it all. I find myself becoming more and more response-able, more and more flexible.
I am like the outside environment, which at one moment is sunny and warm and at the next moment blowy and cold. I experience the sun when it’s warm, the wind when it’s cold, and hope and pray that at some point the variability, the extreme fluctuations will end.